First off i know how to buy a house so don't say i'm doing it wrong, i have done all that you have to do to get a house, but when i talk to the guy I don't have the option to buy a house, please fix this i have 81k gold and i'm living like a BUM.
What level are you? I recall I couldnt access the option to buy the house in solitude for some time, then I was able after completing all the local quests and levelling up. It may just be an issue of you reaching a certain level and the option unlocking.
Not sure on this one, I have only seen the issue with the Windhelm House and siding with the empire, I was unable to get Blood on the Ice to start once I completed the Leigon Quest Line. The guy just keeps saying the house in not available. I had no issue buying the Solitude house.
That's exactly whats going on with me, Ive been running around doing the hold bounty quests for windhelm in the hope it unlocks but apparently "there was some unpleasantness there".