This is the first fanfic I've written for anything, ever. It's one entry long. I wrote it mostly to see if people would think it's any good. If you guys like it, I may write more in the future.


Dust. Always, there was dust. "The Lone Wanderer", as some of the inhabitants of the wasteland had taken to calling him, thought as he forced down another bottle of water he had found inside a make shift shack. Never clean, never pure, but it sustained him. Out here in the wasteland, that's all that mattered. Often he'd find himself fantasizing about wandering back to the door of Vault 101. He'd always be thirsty. He'd think about how great it would be if the door would slide back and he could once again have all the fresh clean water he could drink. Of course, never could he dwell on these things too long before his thoughts were interupted by something. Usually gunshots.

"Why am I out here?"
"Why even try to survive?"
"What's the point?"

These were the thoughts he would have at any given moment that he wasn't searching a ruin for food or shooting at whatever new obstacle the wasteland threw at him. The fact that he would have these thoughts isn't what bothered him. What did was that he couldn't answer them. He drank irradiated slop and chewed ancient food with the thought that he would make it one more day. One more day to drink irradiated slop and chew ancient food.

Just then, he heard an all to familiar sound. A rifle shot and laughter. Dropping to the ground and rolling to the side he put himself behind the small sheet of tin that made up one of the walls of the shack that he'd been thinking in. Useless cover, he knew, but usually the Raiders that roamed the wastes wanted to see their victim die. Shooting through cover for a luck shot wasn't "fun" afterall... He swung his own hunting rifle of his back quickly and yelled his single warning.

"Back off!"

"[censored] you!"

Typical... The raider sounded a bit closer than he expected. Without thinking about his own safety and relying on the scare raiders usually had when someone fought back instead of running away, he jumped from behind cover, took aim at the raiders arm and pulled off a shot. Jumping back behind cover and readying his rifle for another shot he offered the raider one last chance.

"I don't want to kill you! Leave!"

Laughter. "Damnit, must've missed," he thought. Intending to repeat his last move but make contact this time, he jumped from behind his cover and shot again.

"My [censored] arm!"

The Lone Wanderer pulled off another shot, this time aiming for the raiders leg. He saws the blood spurt and the raider drop to the ground, crying. He put another shot into his other arm. "Don't want him taking a last ditch shot at me. He might get lucky."

The Lone Wanderer ran as fast as he could to the man on the ground. The raider reached for his gun as he aproached, but the Wanderer kicked him dead in the chest, knocking him onto his back. He quickly planted one foot on the raiders throat.

"Please, man. I wasn't really gonna hurt ya. I was jokin'. Come on, we're friends aren't we?"

The poor bastard could barely talk with the Wanderer's boot on his throat. Without thinking, acting on adrenaline, he aimed his rifle at the raider's head and squeezed. He turned away, leaving the corspe their.

As he moved on, he pulled another bottle of scavenged water from the bag he carryed with him. Forcing it down he thought "Dust... Always their was dust..."

Awesome :goodjob:

That was great! I'm very new to Fanfic too, but the guys (And girls) here are really nice. Can't wait to read more.

Glad to see that so far it's been liked. Looks like I may do some more in the future.

Also, any and all critcism is welcome.

Well after a quick glance over, I spotted two problems, both relatively minor. First, you misspelled the word adrenaline. Second, thoughts are typically in italics in order to more easily differentiate them from dialogue.

First off, solid writing style. There were a few errors, but they seem more like they were due to haste in the story being put down. The forum isn't going anywhere, friend, take your time. It never hurts to double check. Also, you've got a decent talent that can only improve with practice, we've all got our fair share of stories about the Lone Wanderer, it's fine for an introductory story, but why not try to capture the perspective of one of the wasteland's many other interesting individuals?

That said, if this is your work when rushing, I eagerly await the day we see some of your refined work.

:thumbsup: