Criticism is welcome.

Chapter One


James walked into town , his squire stumbling behind him. " Sir, should I be worried about our quest?" Adam, his squire asked nervously. " No Adam, their just a bunch of snobby bandits who need to know their place." James answered. "Y-yes Sir, thank you Sir." Adam replied.

A weeks time ago, they had received the quest to hunt down a cult of assassins, who had been targeting high-ranking Imperials and counts. James had recently been told by a contract that they were hiding away in some deceased resident's house in Anvil.

After being interrupted by a poor beggar, the pair scurried towards the house, that of Ken Lavic. James silently opened the door, and peered in. The house was empty, except for a old wooden chair in the corner. "They must be in the basemant" James informed Adam as he hurried towards the basemant door. He opened the door to see the basemant as clear as a cloudless night. "Damnit, where are they"? James yelled furiously.

This had been James's chance for a promotion, and now the trail had gone cold. Just as he was ready to return to Imperial City it seemed he was answered, as five cloaked figures stepped from the darkness. Each was wearing unique masks hiding their faces as mysteriously. The assassin to his left stepped forward taking out a steel sword and rushed towards James. James pulled out his glass longsword to block the attack. The two blades met with a cling. James pulled his longsword away and went low with his next attack. James was too fast for the assassin and his blade met flesh. The man screamed in pain as he fell onto one knee. The Assassin swung his blade to little effect, as James hit it with force and it flew to the wall. James then swung his sword again and severed his head from his shoulders. As James did two more assassins moved forward to attack. Adam pulled his blade out and caught one assassin by surprise. Adam's blade cut off the assassin's weapon arm. The Assassin cried and collapsed in pain, holding the stub that use to be his hand. James, happy with his squire quickly killed the other assassin by lobbing his sword into his chest probably puncturing a lung because he began to spit up blood. The last two assassin ran at the pair ready. James swung his sword but was blocked by his opponents blade this time. The assassin whipped out a dagger and stabbed James in the gut. James was caught by surprise, he coughed blood onto the assassins mask. The assassin was blinded by the blood and James took it to his advantage, forcing the assassin's sword into it's wielder. He dropped his sword and fell to the ground. Adam's blade was still locked with the other asssassin when James had finished his opponent. James severed one of the assassin's arm, he screamed but it was silenced when Adam cut his throat.

" G-great Job, Adam" James said coughing up blood. " Sir are you going to be okay?" Adam asked concerned. " Yea, yea I think I am going to be okay." James told Adam as he limped towards the door. " Uhhh.... Yes sir." Adam replied confused. " I'll be okay, its just a flesh wound" James said as they exited the building. " Then why are you coughing up blood?" Adam said. " Don't talk back at me Son" James told Adam." S-sorry Sire." Adam said disappointed in himself.

As the pair reached the main gate, Adam heard a whoosh "Sire did you hear that?" Adam said quickly before he looked behind him. On top of a house was a cloaked figure wearing a mask and wielding a longbow. "Sire, we missed one. Sire? Adam looked back to see an arrow in his Sire's head. "Sire!" He looked back at the rooftop to see the figure had disappeared. He stumbled out of the gate and sprinted to his horse. He hit his horse and it galloped in the direction of Imperial City.

This is TES based?

Have you played Oblivion yet? The setting is Cyrodiil, with places like Anvil, The Imperial City, Bruma, Chorrol and other places or cities.

sounds like it, being they are in Anvil, and are talking about the imperial city. as far as the assassin group, the only ones i know that wear masks would be the mythic dawn, but i am not skilled in cult-lore. a few grammatical mistakes, and the battle scenes were a tad confusing, some adjectives could be more descriptive, but overall good. not much character development...yet^^

of course i am not aware of any squires in tes, but they probably have them, same with whatever cult you're doing. its possible to make a new one, but not the best idea if you can avoid it^^

keep it up, a few paragraphs does not make a fan fic XD

edit: i think peleus has played oblivion, XD lol

Chapter Two


Jak was a good archer, especially since he was a Nord. He was without a doubt the best Archer in the cult of Assassins he was involved in. He had tried to join the Dark Brotherhood, but he was deemed unworthy when he failed his final test to kill a target. So he decided to join a cult of lesser assassins. Because of his expertise in archery he was sent on many quests to rid Cyrodiil of the unworthy.

In fact he was returning from a mission now. He was sent to eliminate a marauder lord. It had gone well, Jak infiltrated their fort and found the lord. He had silently cut his throat and disappeared as quietly as he had come.

Jak was taking the rooftop entrance to their grounds, he liked it because he could survey the area for threats and he was hardly seen while traveling on the roofs. When Jak finally entered their grounds he found something horribly wrong. All the members had been slayed. He was, he couldn't believe that this had happended. " How!" He cried. "J-Jaak" Someone muttered. Jak looked back at the bodies and noticed one was crawling towards him. It was the cult's leader Kills-with-Feet, holding a stump that had been his arm. " Master, Who" Jak asked " Kn-nites" Kills-With-Feet answered before fading into darkness.

Jak hurried back to the rooftop and spotted a knight and his squire about to leave Anvil. He aimed his Elven Bow and fired.........

The assassin group I just made up, it is highly made of Dark Brotherhood rejects and bandits. Also in Knights of the Nine their is one squire, Lathon I think.

Chapter Three

Jean's life was ruined. Her parents had been executed, her friends betrayed her. She had nothing in Chorrol anymore, nothing. She left with only the cloths she was wearing and a dagger, given to her by her father.

Jean's parents had been framed, at least she thinks they were. They said her parents were involved in arranging various assassinations. After her parents were executed her friends, her neighbors wouldn't talk to her, comfort her.

It was night when she finally left and she had yet to find a camp. Jean continued to wander the wilderness, lost. Other that being physically lost, her mind was lost. What was she to do now, she was only fourteen but she couldn't go to any cities, she was an outcast, only a fragment of what she had been. So must loss, for so little gain.

Suddenly she heard something. Someone was nearby. She could careless if she died here, no one else would care anyway. She looked around her, she was deep into a forest. Bushes and trees covered whatever or whoever was there." Who's there?" She spoke.

Jak had left Anvil after he fired the arrow, he never even saw it hit the knight but he knew the knight was dead. Guards had been everywhere, searching for an assassin. He had escaped over one of the city's walls. He then hid in the underbrush and escaped into the night. Now he was wandering the wilderness, not even sure why. He knew he would have to rebuild his cult, but better this time.

Jak could sense someone nearby. He began to search for them and before long he was stalking her. He took out a dagger and went at her. He stepped from the dark, her dagger was already out. She was brave and bold for someone so young. He thought to himself, she has potential to be a great assassin. He stepped forward and their eyes met. Jak could see the fear in her eyes, he would have to change that if she was to become a assassin, his apprentice. He put away his dagger and could see confusion in her eyes. " What are you doing?" she asked. " Come with me he told her and mysteriously walked away.


Jean watched as the man that had just confronted her walk into the forest. She thought to herself. "Should I follow him? It could be dangerous, but I had nothing to live for in way." She followed the man into the forest, to a bandit's camp. After a few days they went to Anvil. Jak had told Jean he thinks she could be a great assassin. Jean thought about it. It could be a great way to get revenge for her parents, she considered it.......

Chapter Four

Adam finally reached Imperial City and entered the main gate. He rushed towards the prison section to meet with his superiors. The City was quite busy today, Adam almost collided with a few people on his way to the prison. After crossing a small bridge he finally arrived.

He rushed towards one of the interior buildings. James and Adam had been contracted by one of their superiors. Adam bashed through the door, startling Neil Addis, their contractor. "Adam? Where's James?" Neil asked. " He's dead!" Adam choked. " Oh, Adam...." Neil said unsure what to say next. " An assassin killed him... we umm missed one." Adam began " I am sorry-Adam." Neil said awkwardly. " Don't be, this assassin won't escape me without justice..." Adam was interupted " I am sorry Adam again truly, but you have to let this go. Your near knighthood, you can't let this interfere with the rest of your training." Neil said. " If Knights are rewarded like James was I am not sure I want to be a knight anymore." Adam said strongly. " I can't stop you from leaving, but James wouldn't want that for you. He loved you like his son, you can't abandon him." Neil told Adam. " I am not abandoning him, I am......" Adam thought for a minute. " Your what Adam. Don't do this, become a knight, avenge James after your training. You will be more likely of success." Neil finished. " Who will I study under?" Adam asked. " Me of course."

With that Adam left his new master to return to his quarters. He knew Neil wouldn't be as good a master that James had been but he was fond of Neil and would accept him. The rest of the night he thought about after Knighthood when he finally got the blood of his former master's Assassin.

I like it,

As people have already mentioned, there is a fair amount of grammatical error. Nothing a spell checker can't pick up on, (Sometimes you're lacking words but it shouldn't confuse someone to the point of not reading.)

On the topic of ingame cults/squires, if you read the TES lore, you will find there is a large number of small cults and squires are quite common.

I am looking forward to seeing how Jean will develop. I am assuming it was her parents that Jak had previously killed? If so; it could prove to be quite interesting.