You are to be a battle chef. Tired of being asked to stay in the kitchen, you go postal and decide and go on a murderous, cannibalistic rampage. You seek to outdo The Gourmet by indulging in the most forbidden of meats.
There are very rare weapon versions of knives and forks. Forks do 2 damage, and knives 3.
No offensive magic, though alteration and restoration are fine, and probably essential. Enchanting and alchemy for poisons makes the viable, as well as the 6x sneak damage perk. You must only wear a chef's outfit.
You are allowed to give yourself as many forks and knives as you need. The console command is player.additem 1f25a (amount) for knives, and player.additem 1f25b (amount) for forks.
Bonus points: Use the Ring of Namira for a full culinary experience, and avoid alchemy altogether. You are a chef, and use food for restoration and buffs. For style, you can also use theme enchantments such as absorb health.