enter below what you think is the best guard saying in skyrim.

The sound they make when they die.

I second this. Hate the guards.

Going off of memory...

"With respect, companion, I'm going to have to ask you to muzzle that dog of yours."

I like the guards and often run into them to trigger some comment on my character's skills or guild status. It's the other npcs that annoy me, especially when they interrupt conversations with quest npcs and I miss the conversation.

I used to be an adventurer like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee...... I just went there

I used to be an adventurer like you. Then I took an arrow to the knee



With Divine Punishment mod enabled.

I'm going to get some hate for it, but ...
'I used to be an adventurer like you. Then I took an arrow to the knee.'

And also:
'now I know who you are and ... And I know your business. But please, these are good folk we got here ... Mostly ...'

Derrr arrow to knee!!! OMGZ HaHAhaH! Lolz.

What is it? Dragons?
I like to believe they [censored] their pants that very moment.

Met my favorite guard in Kynesgrove yesterday. Everything was a surprise to him. He started with "Did you see those warriors from Hammerfell?? They have curved swords! Curved...swords!!" and a few seconds later he went "Have you heard, there are dragons about!" He must've been the biggest gossip monger in Kynesgrove.

"my cousins out guarding and what do I get? dragon duty"

oh wait...

...no, I prefer my way better.

"hey, be careful with those flames"

... to my sneak thief who's never cast a flame spell in his life ...