Scenes of Foreboding : Othor Games

» Sat May 12, 2012 5:36 pm

Just curious to the authors out there how exactly do you setup a scene of foreboding? Tried to find some reference materials, guides, etc... on this but turned up maybe 2 things giving me little information. It should seem clear cut and dry yet that to me would be the biggest mistake that an amateur writer like myself could make. Do you just write out something simple with one character getting a "Bad Feeling" or do you do something more complex like a "Calm Sky" before the "Dark Storm" scenario?

» Sat May 12, 2012 11:19 am

Well, I'm not an expert writer or anything, but you probably shouldn't just say something like "John has a bad feeling about the place." Instead it could be like "'I have a bad feeling about this place,' says John." ...Or something like that.

» Sun May 13, 2012 1:48 am

Well, I'm not an expert writer or anything, but you probably shouldn't just say something like "John has a bad feeling about the place." Instead it could be like "'I have a bad feeling about this place,' says John." ...Or something like that.

That's not much better :biggrin:

To change the mood you can do something as subtle as alter your sentence structure and style. Foreboding I think could benefit more from descriptive language. Use verbs that sound darker and are maybe a little more decorative, toss in some extra adjectives. Take your time and flesh out the feeling of the scene, rather than rush through it. Don't go off on a tangent and describe the silverware or something. Describe sounds, the things the characters can't see. Think of the tricks film directors use when they're building tension.

I'd come up with example sentences but I'm terribly out of practice.

» Sat May 12, 2012 6:14 pm

As we walked through the halls of the long abandoned building, the floorboards creaked below our feet. A strong wind howled, as if screaming for us to leave. We came to a large door, bloodstains serving as a warning that it was our last chance to turn back.

"Ready?" I asked Marcus, slowly extending my hand toward the doorknob as he gripped his pistol tightly."

"Not really, I don't like this place. I want out man."

"Don't we all?"

<___<

» Sat May 12, 2012 6:05 pm

As we walked through the halls of the long abandoned building, the floorboards creaked below our feet. A strong wind howled, as if screaming for us to leave. We came to a large door, bloodstains serving as a warning that it was our last chance to turn back.

"Ready?" I asked Marcus, slowly extending my hand toward the doorknob as he gripped his pistol tightly."

"Not really, I don't like this place. I want out man."

"Don't we all?"

<___<

"Bro, don't open that door. I got a foreboding feeling about it."

Oh, here's a good way to set up foreboding:

"What's the worst that could happen?"

» Sat May 12, 2012 5:40 pm

Thanks for the replies talked to the folks on Deviant Art as well in the literature section so I could get multiple opinions about the scene. Here's a small idea of what i'm working on right now:

I'm already tempted to make a small scene where the protagonist finishes preparations for the plan with his feathered friend fleeing bursting open through a closed window forcing it open. Wondering why she did that Steadfast (MC/Protagonist) follows her to the park they went to in a previous chapter with the moon light bathing everything. Steadfast finds her (The eagle) perched atop a small bench that overlooks the main area of the park gazing towards the sky.

I'll try to interweave a touching scene where Steadfast confides in her that they are friends and he will protect her no matter what (This being what I want as the author with the MC realizing what he has/had). Even though she is scared about the plan the eagle assists the protagonist with it since the plan can't succeed without her.