Already tried it, doesn't work. They just stand there staring at me, insulting me saying things like "You're pathetic"

Well the AI is superb, again I am amazed by it. I guess the reason they do not want you to join their ranks as vampire is obvious.
All kidding a side though did you also try messing with the difficulty level of the game in options? Try various difficulties and check if it changes the attack from physical to magic.