whenever i get attacked by hired bandits, (i usually play a very squishy character lately) the guards are of no help whatsoever. "oh, let me guess, someone stole your sweetroll?" NO you stupid guard! three men with great big axes are trying to chop my freaking head off!!! It's no wonder their cousin is out killing stormcloaks/imperial pigs/dragons while they are stuck on guard duty.
scumbag guard moments anyone?

I hate it when a thief is in the middle of Riften and I run to help the gaurds send the scumbag to Oblivion, but then a gaurd steps in front of my sword and every gaurd in town forgets about the thief and comes after me, allowing the thief to high tail it out of there.

"I'm getting out of here!" Or my favorite, "Get em! Kill em!" LoL