I killed my husband Cuz I wanted a new one n I heard u just have 2wait for a messenger to tell u that they r sorry 4ur lose n get a letter with money then u can remarry but I never got any letter n I've done a lot since I killed him n don't wanna reload, any way I can remarry? My husband was Benor

You can not remarry in the game, even with your Spouse's Death.

Choose wisely.

If you're on PC, you can remarry though.
But if not, then I am sorry.

You can't remarry if something happens to your Spouse on Console. Although, you can remarry on PC using a cheat.