Growing up in school i either had no friends or maybe one or two, so i learned to not give a damn about what any one thinks about me. so that helps.

So does being emotionally detached from every thing, it doesn't matter how much i hate my own guts i've repressed those feelings and make rational choices based on cost and benefits.

now days i get people to like me, and succeed in my job as a sales person, by behaving in a way that is similar to those around me. Its kind of funny actually because i talk like a Texan when speaking to customers. saying stuff like "howdy" and "Have a gudd'n". I think the reason i talk that way is because all the sales men i'd ever seen on tv when i was a kid talked like that.

Those people svck. No kidding. Ignore the things they say and find subtle ways to play with them mentally, and your confidence will skyrocket.

<----- you move like this to some music, while singing off-key at top volume, at least twice a day in front of an open window that faces the street. If people stop to watch, wave, smile, and keep going.


...seriously...do silly/fun things (within reason of course) that make you feel happy/joyous when you know you have the chance of being observed. I see confidence as being a bit like conquering specific stage fright. You have to teach yourself that it's ok to be different, it's ok if people stare, and it's ok to do what you want to do even if it makes people point or stare. Well, unless it's something illegal and you don't want to spend time in jail, of course. Don't do those type of things.
At the least, it's a stepping point towards believing in yourself and what you like/do ... not what other people may want you to be like.

Also...have you ever tried writing poetry or lyrics? From your posting style I have a feeling you might not be bad at it. A certain rhythm there.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZhQOvvV45w......

To me, it sounds like there are four things you need to do:

1. Believe in yourself. What are you good at? No Eeyore "I'm not good at anything" responses. Everyone's good at something. I svck at a LOT of things, but damned if I'm don't have a mind for essays, writing, and myth/folklore. Focus on that, build on it. Make yourself better. He'll, if you're really at a loss, LEARN how to do something. You may surprise yourself.

2. Exercise. Take care of your body. Do what you need to in order to like what you see in the mirror. If you don't like your appearance, there's always, ALWAYS a way to change it so it's at least tolerable(trust me, I'm speaking from experience). And if you were being metaphorical there, then it's even easier to change things up.

3. Get out of your comfort zone. The status quo is obviously not working for you, so why stay lurking around in it? I know it's easier said than done, but go on an adventure. Do something you haven't done before. Get yourself out there and meet new people.

4. Stop giving a [censored] what people think. Seriously. 99.9 percent of the people you see, you won't ever see again. What are they going to do if they think you're goofy looking or something? They aren't judge, jury, and executioner. They're people. Doing people things. And most of the time they're too absorbed in their own stuff and insecurities to care much about you. I know that sounds like BS, but its really true. All you need is that group of people who will be your friends, and someday maybe that special someone(who won't give a [censored] about stupid superficialities). Everyone else? They can [censored] right off if they don't like you. The sooner you understand this, the better.


I hope some of that helped.

There is no clear cut answer to your question, unfortunately. It all comes down to you and how you feel about yourself.

The only thing that I can suggest is to clear your head and forget all of the negative [expletive] that you hear from other people. Try meditating, or just pick a mantra to run through your head (think I can do this, I got this under control), or just pick a power song that makes you feel good.
Apathy can make you forget your problems, but it's not replacement for confidence, not that I have a lot for myself personally.

Are you sure this is exactly it?

I can't stress this enough. I do have to add, though, that understanding it alone won't always help. It's difficult to overcome social pressures if you're the kind of person who falls for them. You can't rewrite genetics. You can keep consistently pushing the boundaries of what you perceive as 'expected', and every time you do you'll get a little more comfortable outside your box. It's what I've done recently, and while I don't feel more confident, I do feel less self-conscious.

http://i1231.photobucket.com/albums/ee514/SilverEage/Picture6_zpsdd94ef92.jpg

You're not bad looking...

no homo

Very good point.


I...really don't see anything awful here! If I were straight, I'd probably even think you're cute!

But I know that isn't really how things work with this sort of stuff...what don't you like about your appearance?

Everything
this entire thread is boosting my confidence o.O

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pH3QZvBfZeY


Get a shave. Doesn't have to all come off, but do something with it. Once you do that, go somewhere. Somewhere outside your comfort zone. I want you to find someone that stands out to you, someone that looks like they are a bit lonely. I want you to go to them, and say something along the lines of, "Mind if I sit with you?" or if they look like [censored], "Everything alright?" If they give you the "Oh yeah yeah," but you aren't convinced, try the "No, really. Is everything ok? You look like a person that could use someone to talk to."

A tiny sip of alcohol before the journey can help you a bit. TINY SIP.

I'm glad to hear it's helping a bit!

Anything specific you can latch onto about your appearance, though? Maybe we could help give ideas on how to de-emphasize it.

If it's really dragging down your self-esteem, and you honestly can't pinpoint what you dislike about your appearance, you may consider seeing a therapist. I know no one likes the thought of that, but a decent one can really help you sort things out and figure out what you can do to increase your self-esteem and like your appearance.

I dont like the shape
i dont like that i cant grow a mustache
i dont like my smile or my nose
or my glasses, this forum seems to like em tho

What's wrong with it?
That's a blessing in disguise. You don't have to worry as much about shaving. I like that my facial hair is limited to a little mustache and scruffy soul patch.
You're not smiling. Give us a smile
Can you get contacts?

i used to not like my smile, i have thick cheeks and big lips so i could never find a way to show my teeth with out making an O face. then i saw a WWE wrestling commercial that had some wrestler guy who smiles alot. there was a slow motion shot of him begining to smile and i learned how to raise my upper lip and arch my lower lip into a much better "toothy" grin.

of course every one says that my toothy grin smile is creepy but thats what i like about it.

okay?
open tooth
http://i1231.photobucket.com/albums/ee514/SilverEage/Picture8_zps6f211410.jpg
closed
http://i1231.photobucket.com/albums/ee514/SilverEage/Picture9_zps4a0207c7.jpg
i think i look crazy in the first
and the second i look like the joker

Not sure about the shape(it looks like a normal face to me!). The moustache thing I believe is a genetics thing, unfortunately(though I'm more versed in how to get rid of the damn things, so some guys might have more info); my dad never could grow a 'stache either(but of course I could ). Shaving your face clean would definitely de-emphasize that fact.

Edit: Your smile looks fine. You don't look like the joker, you look like a guy who's smiling!
And glasses are trivially easy to change up.

Man, you shouldn't think about your smile. Don't try to make yourself look like the WWE guy on tv, just smile naturally and be relaxed, like this