I was thinking of starting a thread where you can list all the funny, random comments you recieve and maybe what your thought behind them are, i go first;

Guard; "Perhaps you can enchant my sword, this sword can barely cut through butter"
Blacksmith is "that way" is my first thought, this guy dont need an "enchanter"

Lydia; "Skyrim belongs to the Nords!!"
Shouted right into my Dunmer's ears, while attacking a Nord NPC. Lydia had a little "Accident" the same day..

Khajiit trader: 'you don't need great speed when dragon comes, you only need to run faster than the others'

The shopkeeper in Whiterun is always fun. Can't remember his quote on the top of my head... I'll need to get it.

Enchanter at College: "I think we can blow up half of Eastmarch and people will still come to us for enchanting services"

"Come dragon or giant, we'll be ready" - Whiterun guard patroling.

Giants win over guards, that's why it's funny.

"Safe travels" - Random encounter bandit just before she starts attacking me after I refused to give her my money

Lydia: "Burn! Burn the vampire!"

While fighting a mudcrab, and I happen to be the only vampire around. mm-hm...

Rich nobleman (wedding traveler) @ his wife's dead body: "I guess they deserved it"

When you ask Belethor about what made him come to Skyrim

"Isn't it obvious? Why, the wonderful weather and hospitable people, of course! Not to mention my great fondness for dragons and petty political power struggles. Ah, but without a doubt, the most compelling feature of this frozen wasteland is the volley of inane questions leveled at me on a regular basis."

Or when a guard says "You see those warriors from Hammerfell? they've got curved swords. Curved. Swords."

Found them! I love this shopkeeper! XD

"Isn't it obvious? Why, the wonderful weather and hospitable people, of course! Not to mention my great fondness for dragons and petty political power struggles. Ah, but without a doubt, the most compelling feature of this frozen wasteland is the volley of inane questions leveled at me on a regular basis."

"Everything's for sale my friend. Everything. If I had a sister I'd sell her in a second."

"Oh no, not at all. I simply locked the doors, hid beneath my counter and prayed to the Divines that my life would be spared and my shop wouldn't burn to the ground. But other than that, everything was business as usual. Now, do you have any other painfully obvious things to say?"

Belethor lol.

Talen-Jei is funny thank you for the amethists and then suddenly how dare you show your face here...

LOL, in the Smoky Mountains where I live they sell shirts with that saying(worded slightly differently), pertaining to bears.

Mine: I decide to pillage Markarth after having to much fun with Unrelenting Force. So, I kill all the guards outside, then move to the keep. I dice a few guards, cave some Thalmor skulls, when the Jarl walks up to me.

"I have told my steward to allow you to purchase property, in honor of your prowess in battle."
Me: "Damn straight."