For a while I've been wanting to start a thread about a question that's been on my mind, but haven't put my thoughts together until now.

Let me start with an abbreviated story- there's a girl that I've known for... a little over a year and a half, but in the past couple months we've spent more time together, mostly while she's been working in the evening or a few times when she was doing a few odd jobs for my boss. We've also had occasional texting conversations (when her phone decides that it likes me but that should be fixed now) and one time I even stopped in and saw her at her other job (at a Wendy's, wasn't even sure if I'd see her when I went in).
There is a bit of something going on between us, but neither one of us really wants to talk openly while we're working and around people who know/semi-know us.
We have talked about getting together some time when neither one of us is working (harder for her: two serious jobs, she cleans for other people, does what work she can) or has other obligations, but so far hasn't worked out right. There also might be a few issues with our flatmates (she shares a flat with her cousin, me with my sister), and while she hasn't met my sister, her cousin makes me a little bit uncomfortable, but that shouldn't be a problem if we meet somewhere.

The thing is, she keeps using the phrase "hang out" or "hanging out" referring to when we spend time together and actually talk about things.
Now to me, the time that I spend with her is "hanging out", so I'm a little confused......

Maybe it's not so much a question that I have per se, but it is confusing me.
So, what are your thoughts of "hanging out" versus "hanging out", while keeping everything forum appropriate. Even I can think of a few.... other things.
Or maybe this is just another case of me trying to put head together in a different way. Just remember, my head's wired different.

JAHO

and

JOAH

Tell her it's a date instead of the wording "hanging out"! And don't forget to bring her some KFC

I'm going to go with this

I used to say "hanging out" and now know it comes off sounding soft and evasive.

if you want to date someone, you have to come clean with it, both men and women appreciate honesty.

this is all I have read of the OP....



And this is my response

What?

I should have seen this one coming a mile away. Technically I already did JAHO, albeit the actual question was "Do you want to get together sometime when you're not working? Or, actually, when neither of us is working?"


Actually, I like this idea. I haven't pushed the issue because it's not in my nature to be aggressive and I also know that there are a few other things that she's been vague about.


So are you as confused as I am then?

She just wants to hang out.

If a guy wants to "hang out", it's probably sixual.

If a girl says she wants to "hang out", it's probably casual.

When a girl wants to hang out, it's because she wants to befriend you on a deeper level in order to know more about you. She is pretty much testing the waters in whether or not you'd make a good boyfriend. If things go well, you will hang out again, and again, until eventually one asks the other to go on a REAL date and eventually you guys start dating. You should be happy that she's taken this initiative because it shows that she has interest in you. You should make more effort to actually hanging out. If things go well the first time, it will then be up to you to ask to hang out a second time in order to send her the message that you are also interested.

It's all a big set of subtle hints.

I think you're over thinking it. If you hang off of every word like that, you'll have a lot to worry about. What's important is that she wants to spend time with you. So JAHO.

Pretty much this, and I totally didn't recognize you with that avatar!

Seriously....what the hell is it about people who play Bethesda games that they're so freaking incapable of just being normal?

Just do something. Stop thinking, stop being confused. You're either going to date her or not. The more time you spend whining about it the less chance you have.

Haha yeah, I usually stick to game protagonists as an avatar, but thought I'd do something a little different this time.


I wonder the same thing. But it wasn't the OP that made me do so.

I don't really like your use of the term normal but I know what you mean. It's not just this community though, everywhere I go people are the same (that includes real life).

It's mostly due to modern society, our style of living, etc.
Actually, to put it nice and simply: Comfort patterns cause these kind of mindsets. If something new or uncertain is experienced, people return to their comfort patterns to think and try to come up with the best way of approaching the new or uncertain experience. Really though, the only way to know how to approach it is to experience it.

Maybe around nerds.

Eh, sounds pretty good and makes perfect sense.


Hey, this is me, I tend to overthink everything.
I had to double check the name too.


I've got a lifetime of being on the outside of things, so I'm used to not being 'normal', actually I enjoy it. Anyways, I didn't really think that I was whining, just thinking aloud for the most part, besides I don't trust most people enough to ask them for their thoughts.

*sigh*
I pretty much have nothing to say other than don't be so prejudice and ditch the fixed mindset as soon as possible.

>Looks at post.
>Looks at link in sig.
>lel

Everyone has their own problems and shortcomings. For some, they are social problems.

Wanna know a little secret? No one is normal. Not you. Not me. Nobody. Why? Because "normal" doesn't exist. Or if it does, everyone's idea of "normal" is different. So don't put people down for not knowing how to handle a situation. May seem trivial to you. May even seem trivial to me. But that doesn't make it any less of a difficulty for him.

Yeah, you really have to be direct and honest on the issue. There was this one time that a girl and I used to go out a lot, movies, etc alone and she didn't know we were dating until I used the term "date" all of a sudden.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3y3QoFnqZc

That is all.

Please... can't stop laughing.

I'll say it is