I thought many of you might like to read this, so I started a new thread. I managed to fix my adoption glitch problem! I'll type out exactly what I did, even if some if it isn't totally related:

Like many of you, I had the adoption glitch, where the child (Lucia from Whiterun) would say "I need to get my things" but not actually move to my house (Windstad Manor, all 3 additions added, but not fully furnished). Then, she DID move to my house, but would still say "I need to get my things" and then walk back to Whiterun. On top of that, my wife (Aela) would just stand still in my kitchen holding a torch, acting like she doesn't yet live in the house. So both my wife and child were glitched. I was angry.

Someone in another thread suggested that maybe the child needs a chest to "store their treasures." I already had the beds, of course, so I then built every container and chest possible for the bedroom areas. I then fast traveled to Solitude. While in Solitude, I fast traveled to Solitude again (not sure if this did anything, but that's what I did). Then I fast traveled back to Windstad Manor. While still outside, I fast traveled to Windstad Manor AGAIN (once again, I don't know if this did anything, but this is exactly what I did). I then entered my home, and voi la - both Aela and Lucia were un-glitched! Lucia thanked me for adopting her and Aela started [censored]ing about the bears and wolves outside.

I haven't adopted a second child, and since my steward seems to have claimed the second child's bed, I don't think I'll try it for fear of more bugs. One child is enough anyway.

The moral of the story is: build all the bedroom containers. Hope this helps someone else.

...The more I think about this, the more I realize that this probably isn't a glitch. Your kids need a place to store their things, hence they need a container at their bed. The problem lies in that the game does not tell you this (or if it does, it's not overt enough). Anyway, I hope this solution helps someone.

Furnishing the entire house as well as providing everything the children need might lead to a less annoying experience. The poor wife does need something to do if she is to feel at home in the place. All I ever do is adopt the child wait for the gather the things line and then leave and fast travel to the intended house.,the family is usually there already. I have never moved the family into a house that is not completely furnished.

Aela does sometimes hold a torch inside the house, or even holds her empty hand up like she is holding a torch, it is just a glitch, fixes itself after a while.

Furnishing the house before adopting is certainly a valuable tip. And as I mentioned, the stubborn nature of the children to not move until they have a container probably isn't a glitch, but it still is frustrating when the game just doesn't tell you what to do in that instance.

However, my Aela was definitely bugged. She stood motionless with her torch in the kitchen (and the kitchen had the fireplace, oven, and just about everything else) and had no dialogue pertaining to living in the house. It wasn't until my child was "fixed" that she snapped out of her trance. In any case, all is well now.

I have a glitch myself but it is in my home in solitude, I adopted the girl from whiterun and the boy from the farm outside solitude. After having them both stay there for some time with my wife Aela I went on a long quest line, when I got back the boy was gone. I waited a week for him to return to the house but nothing, I checked every city and the farm where I adopted him from and had no luck. His pet mudcrab still roams the house but he is just gone.