it was my understanding that there was a life drain spell in your hand when you change, but all i can use is melee

To go into spell mode just toggle the sneak button or press down on the left thumb stick.

Also if you become a VL Is it the same as being a Vanilla one with stages?

Yes, but now the only drawback to being a stage 4 is the sun damage. People no longer attack stage 4 vampires. Feel free to stay stage 4 as long as you want with no fear of retribution.

Oh okay, thanks!

Do any of the VL powers increase your skill level?