Im sure many of you already know this but i myself spent about 12 hours trying to figure out how to get the land soo just thought id write it here.
If you already have a rare gifts quest active, you must finish it before you can start the jarl of falkreaths quest to get black briar Mede, then you can get the bandit quest and then the thane quest.
Hope this helps someone because the getting that land drive me insane