Dear Ms Beth,

I recently met a great girl, but I think there could be a problem. It's not that I'm an outdoorsie adventurous type, and she parties all night and sleeps all day. I seem to get along with her mum, although I did have to kill her dad. It's well, more like that I used to be a gangbanger with a mob down Riften way (Dawnguards, you might have heard of them), and met her through them. Now, to impress her, I got involved in her interests, but as a result, my friends in the gang don't want to know me...will I ever be able to have a loooooong term relationship with her, and be able to keep my friends?



Dear Ms Beth,

The other day I was practicing a few of my skills, grinding up my conjuration and two-handed, and I sort of got a lot of ghostly remains and ash piles left on the rug. Can you recommend a potion or spell to remove them, please?



Dear Ms Beth,

I'm married to a lovely girl from Whiterun, but she's a werewolf. If I adopt, will she eat our children?



Dear Ms Beth,

Recently I saved humanity from the 'world eater', crushed the vampire menace, helped end the civil war, and became the archmage of the Mage's College at Winterhold, but all the guards around Skyrim keep taunting me and asking me whether someone stole my sweetroll. How can I make them stop?

... this might count as spam?