What and where are they? The ones unrelated to the main quest, or was this a lie like the customizing of the castles

The strongholds DO get upgraded, but only automatically as you go through the main quest, you can't DIRECTLY upgrade, but Todd never said anything about directly upgrading, so it wasn't really a lie... more of a... mislead.

I asked about new locations not how it was misleading. He said upgrade you do it to one thing it was a LIE. New locations please. Or was it a lie Also

The Castle on the vampires side doesn't upgrade automatically. You have to talk to a guy at the castle to do it. It's nothing special though. Just a passage that links two areas that you already have open.

There are some new dungeons and stuff but nothing significantly large that is unrelated to the questline. The two big areas that were added are the Soul Cairn and The Forgotten Vale.

What is with the influx of rudeness on this forum recently?

The Forgotten Vale and Soul Cairn are 2 new land areas added. Also the island Castle Volkihar and the Canyon Fort Dawnguard are located in are new. There are also some new caves and dungeons added. Including the Dwemer Ruins for the Lost to the Ages quest.