The guy that you are supposed to save, who tells you the way to make stalhrim just appeared at the village, and the guy who is supposed to tell you to go get the smith isn't there. Has anyone else had that problem? Is there a way to still make stalhrim?

Depends on your smithing level i would have thought as a prerequisite, leave the village for a few days then go back and see

A few questions:
- The 2 Skaal talking about the smith's disappearance...did you interrupt their dialogue?
- Is the Dragonborn MQ still active?
- Did you prematurely get the map?
- Do you have the Ebony smithing perk?
Check this page, in particular the Bug section: http://www.uesp.net/wiki/Dragonborn:A_New_Source_of_Stalhrim

Your best solution is to load a previous Save.