I just had some real problems with Jordis being kidnapped.

First time I come home and a bandit gives me a ransom note. So I put some things away in the house prior to heading out to rescue her when I get the quest completed message. That's odd, I think. So I head over to Embershard to check and she's not there. I come home and wait a bit and she's now home, but she has become totally spastic. Her legs are moving in all kinds of weird directions and she can't seem to walk properly. She just kind of slides around, sometimes sideways, sometimes backwards.

So I reload.

This time I head directly down to Embershard without going into the house first. This time I run into Rochelle outside and kill her, but before I can enter the mine I get the quest completed message. I decide to go in anyway and when I find her she is still spazzing out and talking to me like we are at home.

So I reload.

Still having problems. This time I recruit her as a follower to see if I can jump start her broken AI. But she can barely keep up with me. She is as spastic as the previous times.

So I reload.

Finally, I just go directly to Embershard without ever stopping at my home. No note, no nothing. As far as the game is concerned, the quest has not even started. I kill Rochelle, enter the mine, find my wife, and this time she tells me we need to get out of there. She then follows me out of the mine. Once out she starts walking to Lakeview on her own. So I clear the path ahead of her of any potential threats and wait for her to show up. Finally, my wife is back to normal.

From this experience I would suggest that if you are having problems with the kidnapping quest, reload from a save before you get the quest objective and go directly to the location your spouse is located at. Do not let the quest start. Just do the quest as if it had started.

Kidnapping quests are so bugged that you never want to have them. It can take a few tries from a previous save to make it through in my experience.