I have an esp with several new forms (altered chests, lights, etc) required for the mod. How can I be sure that I have all the required components so my mod will work right? Is there a program that will export my esp, meshes and texture to blank directory so I can package it up and not miss a component?

Edit: Nm...just found TESVGecko. Hopefully that will do it.

Not that I know of. You can get a list of files used by your mod, if you go to File -> Create Archive in CK. You can also let CK create the BSA file, but in some people's experience it can miss files when packing. So you are probably better off packing the files manually or distributing your mod with loose files.

If your forms use any resources (meshes, textures, audio, scripts, etc.) available in the base game, then you don't need to pack those.

I have two recommendations to make it easier to keep track of what is needed by your mod:
1) Have a separate install of Skyrim for developing mods. This will make sure that most, if not all, loose files in the Data folder belong to your mod and that you don't accidentally use resources from other mods.
2) Give everything (forms and resources) names that are unique to your mod. This makes it easier to find files that belong to your mod. I use a prefix that is specific to my mod and then by type of form or resource. For example Furniture forms in Field Alchemy all have "FiAl_FURN_" in the name.