I think I read somewhere I had to be over level 10 and be in a town where people LIKE me, well I believe I am, I am thane at a smaller town/village yet nothing has happend, no one comes up to me no matter how long I wait for me to start the quest line

You have to be over level 10, and be named dragonborn by the greybeards, as I recall.

That should be all you have to do.