It's impossible to do the MQ or DG without joining that damn college for prancing mages. Also Faralda has given a conjure flame atronach task to my pure warrior character so now he can't complete the DG quest because his magic is too low. Help?!?!?!

You could BS your way with the Speech skill or tell the one responsible for admittance exams you're the Dragonborn.

I dunno, really.

You don't have to join the College to beat the MQ or DG, just keep going north of The College into the ice fields until you find Septimus's cave.

Also, if you go to the college as part of the MQ, you can tell that Faralda, or w/e her name is, that you are Dragonborn, and she will ask you to shout to prove it, thus allowing you to get in without casting a single spell.

Wait, which quest in the main questline?

And what do you suggest I do about DG then?

Yeah, this is one of the things that has always bothered me in Skyrim. Also, how underdeveloped the Bard's College is.

So much potential...

The same thing, all they do is direct you to Septimus either way.

Finding Septimus skips the quest ahead.

The Elder Knowledge quest, the one that directs you to The College for information on where to find an ES as part of Skyrim's MQ?

+1 for just going to Septimus

Yep, a shout will get you in.