How does one be - as my the topic title says - assertive and articulate? I'm not either of these things, but I'd say they are 'life skills' (or social skills, for that matter) and go hand-in-hand.

For example, when my Chemistry class got our assignments back, the teacher commented on mine that I was missing a part of it, but I was sure I wasn't. So, I got marks taken off for that, but didn't go up to her. Now, whether or not I was missing a part if I approached her, it'll solve everything regardless. It's too late now, unfortunately. That happened a few weeks ago, now it's exam week, then the first semester concludes. I think my assertiveness also plays with how comfortable I am with a said person. I'm much more assertive in classes like History, English or German.

As for being inarticulate? I either speak too fast, quiet, or stumble over my words. My line of speech is full of "and, um...like, yeah" and I can't ever put my mind to words. It's not so much a matter of lacking confidence or being uncomfortable - I'm can be same way around friends - though, it is a factor. Public speeches or oral presentations? No thanks, I'll just stare at my cue cards and tremble. The main thing, is that I can't ever put my mind to speech.

I'm not sure whether this topic deserves to be a thread or not, but it's really just here in case anyone else was in the same spot, I guess.

Assertiveness is something that is kind of a personality trait that you need to teach yourself. You might need to flip your mind set to make that one a reality. Honestly it just comes down to knowig what you want and taking the steps to get it. It takes a fairly selfish mindset to do this imo, but a fairly selfish mindset is something that is very important to have. You have to realize that if you want something or you have something you thibk needs to be said, that you just get it or say it. Within reason of course. If you are worrying about the class thinking you are stupid for asking a question then you are overthinking it. There really are no stupid questions. If you ask something you will learn something.

Articulacy is just the ability to get someone to understand your point with at least a decent degree of clarity. Expand your vocabulary for one. Having more words at your disposal makes it easier to articulate what you want to say. Don't be afraid to allow pauses in your speech patterns. Be deliberate. People pay more attention if you speak slowly, even if it can be grating. Fillers like 'uhm' are distracting and they detract from whatever point you are trying to make.

The problem isn't that you cannot put your mind to speech. The problem is that you are thinking of other things and not focusing. "Do I look good right now? Should I svck in so I look less fat? Maybe I should straighten my back more? Omg are they thinking I look stupid right now? She is cute. Are my teeth white enough? I wonder if that girl would date me? How long am I up here for? How long have I been up here? How much longer is left? Do I look good...?"

FOCUS!!!

Just my crappy two cents.

Remove um from your vocabulary..seriously. It will make your interactions and public speaking a thousand times better by removing filler words..those catch more attention than anything you actually say. Make a conscious effort to squash fillers before they come out..

Assertiveness comes more from self esteem..I can't help you with that..just think that you have equal rights the same as those around you and are entitled to your thoughts and actions

Some very nice points raised. On the articulation side, I just want to highlight one of the things that Dunmer said. Pause. In any monologue, be it an answer or a question at an interview or a presentation given at work or school, pause. When you observe people who do a lot of public speaking, you will notice that there are often pauses, small ones, within even single sentences. This gives you time to think. It is essentially what you are doing with "uhm" and "urh", just without the vocalisation. Don't be afraid of silence.

Being assertive or confident isn't something you can learn from other people, at least not by just following a few of their pointers. If you really feel held back by your timidness, go see a psychologist to teach you some methods to stay calm and become more confident in conflict cases. Beware, you won't be able to learn in a day or two, this is a long and complicated process, just like any major personality problem you overcome. Asking for advice on fora is a bit pointless since true change has to come from within, not without.

As for being articulate, I see many people trip over their words because their speech speeds up in stress situations. It's very important that you stay calm and continue speaking slowly and at a normal volume. Speaking faster will make you trip over your words and speaking more loudly will make you more stressed and generally cause the entire situation to escalate.

And don't forget that sometimes, saying nothing is the most articulate reply you can give.

in any form of exchange be the one that knows what he is doing even when you are not sure of what the other guy is doing do not emphatize always express more than the other guy ask only the questions you know the answers to let the other guy explain his argument rather than trying to understand him in short decimate the argument without thinking about the possible outcome too brutal but effective none the less in short be a D***k

That's... not really good advice. And punctuation is your friend.

That's not assertiveness, that's arrogance. It is a fine line, but if you slip over it you're lost.