Livin' Dat Loner Life : Othor Games

» Wed Jul 03, 2013 10:38 pm

I was exploring my sub box a little while ago and came across the latest Q&A video by ZoocDoesStuff. In it he talks about his experiences and opinions on being a loner. The question he's replying to reads as follows:

http://youtu.be/XEuq0gGonGg (warning: advlt language)

So, I turn this question to you. Are you a loner, what are your views on those who are? What do you think of the 4 reasons posed in the question, do any of those apply to you or people you know?

Personally, I'm definitely a loner. I used to love spending time with friends, but now I can't help but feel it's a complete waste of my time. Whenever I go out, usually out of desperation having spent months with no meaningful social interaction, I come home reminded of why I don't. It's strange, I suppose, and the desire to ever "hang out" dims with each iteration. And by go out I mean spend time with friends, not a club setting or party. As for romantic relationships, I've never had someone I've called my girlfriend (except when I was in middle school, if that counts), as I loathe the idea of having to... I don't know, become invested, or commit -- as cliche as that might be. This whole idea is actually where my username stems from.

Looking forward to hearing your own thoughts and experiences on this subject!

» Wed Jul 03, 2013 4:47 pm

I'd consider myself a loner. If I had to pick one of those reasons then it'd be #3, but more than that I just don't crave social interaction. I enjoy a meaningful conversation, but stuff like parties and pointless small talk really stress me out.

» Wed Jul 03, 2013 9:22 pm

I'd choose option 4 but I just don't like people

» Thu Jul 04, 2013 1:59 am

Social interactions make me physically tired. I can work a construction job for 12 hours straight and go home full of energy but a night out at the bar really drains me. I hear it's an introvert thing, but loner sounds better. :tongue:

» Wed Jul 03, 2013 11:31 am

I have a girlfriend and friends, and I enjoy spending time with all of them on a regular basis, so by this definition, I'm not a loner. However, I am quite introverted and I choose to interact with only a select few people I actually like on a regular basis instead of having a big ol social circle. I also don't enjoy a lot of social situations most people do such as parties, discos etc. as a matter of fact I find them downright depressing and suffocating. Furthermore I'm not one for making new friends, that's not to say I won't become friends with someone I gradually come to like over time, but I certainly won't go out of my way or make an effort to meet people. As for being ostracized for my introversion, I can't really say I am because like I said, it's mild but most people seem to get the message and keep their distance the way I do. But I like it that way.

Finally, i don't judge people for being real loners, if that is what makes them happy then by all means go right ahead. As long as it doesn't bother me (and it certainly doesn't, unlike extreme extroverts/social butterflies do for example) then I could care less. However I can't understand how someone can be happy being completely or almost completely alone, so I don't get the mindset.

» Wed Jul 03, 2013 2:36 pm

Antisocial Disorders? Antisocial doesn't mean you're shy, it means you're a psychopath. People who are antisocial are generally very extroverted and charismatic.

/thatguy

/rant

Yes, I know that quote is from another website. I'm just being that guy. You know the one.

I aiiiiiiin't havin' that [censored].

Right, I should actually answer this.

Anyway, I grew up pretty darn introverted. Recent circumstances are getting me to socialize a bit more, but I'll probably always be an introvert. So I grew up a pretty close to a loner, but that's changing a bit. We'll see what happens.

» Thu Jul 04, 2013 1:12 am

I'm a loner due to circumstance, I live out in whoop-whoop.

» Wed Jul 03, 2013 11:01 pm

Idk, I tend to work in cycles, that vary, a lot.

I want to be alone for extended periods of time. I want to hang out with my friends for extended periods of time. My friends get that. Took several years for it to get to that point but it is what it is. I am not anti-social as I love to talk to people and learn about their culture and whatever. At the same time I want to be left the [censored] alone. I won't really invest the effort to make new friends unless it comes naturally. That usually means the other person likes me enough to want to hang out more I guess. I am a pretty fun person once I do go out, the problem is getting me to go out I think.

Kind of a 'I can pester you but you cannot peater me' situation I guess. I like nightclubs, every once in awhile. I have one night stands sometimes, extended relationships with a girl(likea two year girlfriend) and times when I barely so much as talk to a girl romantically for months. The former and latter only apply when I am single, in case that wasn't obvious.

Basically, I am a loner by choice but I can quit anytime I want to, and I do.

» Thu Jul 04, 2013 12:10 am

Hmm, I was unaware people had discoes anymore.

» Wed Jul 03, 2013 12:19 pm

Maybe he is older? My Mom called a nightclub a disco the ofher day lol. So it could just be an association thing. 50 years from now people might call Video games something totally different, but we will still probably be calling them that.

» Wed Jul 03, 2013 9:47 am

I'm a loner because I'm too lazy to meet people. I have friends and all but I can't get off my chair to meet them.

» Wed Jul 03, 2013 4:50 pm

I'm a loner. Both because I don't want to stoop to the level of the party-ers and typical youth, but also because I don't get people.

The school psyc said I was Schizoid, but further testing was inconclusive (I show tendencies towards it, but not quite enough)

Anyways, I find people and relationships to be quite meaningless. I would choose a good friend over a romantic relationship anytime. I think the real issue is that I can't handle being in large groups of people, even like 3 others is too much. The noise, the banter, having to pay attention to them all, no thank you.

It doesn't bother me though. I always have some little side-project going on that keeps me busy, and I'm a master at loosing time on the internet. Plus the two good friends I do keep around a see once in a while.

» Wed Jul 03, 2013 10:47 pm

I don't hate social-interaction per se, if it's with the right people I love it, but whenever I try hanging out with people my age (14) I always feel depressed because of how stupid and immature they act. I'm telling you, I was at a party ( not a "drinking" party, it was a family thing) a week ago, and some kids who were about 2 years younger than me kept making "Yo mama" jokes in an attempt to make me laugh (because they claimed I "don't laugh at anything", I wonder why) and all I felt like doing was bashing their faces in (hyperbole, of course) because even when I told them how I loathed those jokes they kept doing it anyway. Everyone my age that I meet just has the dumbest and undeveloped sense of humor and I never feel like I can talk to them about serious stuff. Every time I come home after stuff like that I think to myself "This is why I don't bother trying to make friends". And don't get me started on how 14 year olds are talking about stuff like "dating" and "cheating" in an attempt to seem mature, that's another one of those things that just makes me want to leave the room.So no, I'm not so much anti-social as I am -and not to sound arrogant or full of myself- too mature for most people my age. If people are anti-social for that reason (the people they know are annoying etc) then no, they don't bother me because I can relate. But for whatever reason it is, it doesn't effect me so it's not any of my business to judge either way.

» Wed Jul 03, 2013 11:11 am

Well abyssal, I can certainly say you are more literate than most people your age. More than I was for sure. Although I wasn't illiterate.

You actually seem pretty smart for 14 so it might just be that you have an intellectual gap with your age group. It happens. It happened to me and I did the worst thing possible. I tried to dumb myself down to their level and partially stunted my own intellectual growth because of it. The best advice I can find for you, if there is any truth to my assumption, is that making friends for you might be hard, but just look for more mature people. If they are older, hopefully they are cool with hanging out with a younger person. Try to date older women/men/whatever too. Uhm...not too old though. You are still 14.

However, I was in a similar situation where I felt smarter AND more mature(and more arrogant, this part may or may not apply to you)than most of those in my age group. It is tough to make real connections unless you feel like someone is on your level, intellectually speaking.

My revelation was that there are different types of intelligence. Not just the cognitive kind. Body intellgence, social intelligence, etc etc. different people become better at different things. I just looked for people that were good at stuff and found they made great friends so long as they weren't arrogant [censored]. Like myself. Cannot have more than one arrogsnt [censored] in a group lol.

» Wed Jul 03, 2013 12:35 pm

Sorry for the wall of text, my posts have been showing up un-paragraphed lately for some reason, but here goes, try to enjoy the strain on your eyes (or just quote it and paragraph it yourself :shrug:

and if the spoiler tag doesn't show up, just ignore those, I can't edit my posts either)

Spoiler

@Albino Dunmer I try to be as modest as possible and don't consider myself arrogant but I do believe I'm genuinely more mature and intelligent than most people my age. Not to judge them for having a lower general IQ or something, just that when their intelligence, whichever form of intelligence it may be, is causing them to appear completely unrelateable and just plain childish to me. But then again, I thought I was mature as I'd ever be 2 years ago as well, and looking back on some of the things I said or did back then make's me want to facepalm now. But regardless of whether or not I'm just full of myself, I live in a secluded area and on top of that, I'm home-schooled and won't be able to drive a vehicle for another year. There's no way that I could meet anyone if I wanted to, I have to try making the most out of meeting distant relatives for family gatherings and such, and the most recent one is where the aforementioned desire to bash their faces in came from

. I did meet several fairly likable people after that party, but despite that, they still had many problems that most of today's youth have (I'm sounding like an old man saying that

): Ton's of swearing, which doesn't bother me much at first but eventually it get's unpleasant, and it bugs me how they're glued to their smart phones constantly texting, and more annoyingly, talking about "dating" and "partying", things I have little interest in, especially the latter, the former only because at this age it's usually just a childish joke used to make them look more mature, I'd rather just talk, there doesn't have to be an illusion used to make us feel closer to each other. I'm getting to the point where I know it's going to be a waste of time to go out in an attempt to make friends. I currently have roughly one consistent friend that is actually fairly mature and serious, if more of the people I meet were like him I'd be content and WOULD have a good social life, but yeah, I'm not going to "dumb myself down" for them. As much as I wish to avoid it, I think I'll just wait a while, hopefully they'll smarten up in a year or so.

» Thu Jul 04, 2013 12:25 am

I had to log in just to say THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so sick of this misconception.

Er, to answer - I'm mostly aligned with number four.

» Wed Jul 03, 2013 9:49 am

Most people on these forums could probably be classified as introverts. It isn't a behavioral problem, it's biological. Other personality characteristics affect how introverts act in social situations. Some are openly callous to social interaction, others can make small talk even if they aren't enjoying it.