» Wed Aug 07, 2013 5:34 am I guess I don't really know what this thread is about; I can't really talk to my siblings about it yet because she doesn't want them to know yet since it's just a possibility. She only really trusts my younger sister and me with news since our older siblings can get loud and pushy and she just doesn't want the stress right now.
It's just still nuts thinking about it. She's going to have a biopsy done in a few days and her symptoms match most, if not all the leukemia symptoms. She was hesitant to tell me because she knows I worry a lot (so much so that even when I knew some of her symptoms--lack of appetite for the last year, extreme fatigue for the last year, easy bruising, headaches, and fever for the last three weeks, rapidly swelling lymph nodes and white blood cell count in the last week--I was hoping that no one would mention the L word).
She doesn't seem to be worried, and has asked that I not be worried as well, and it seems easy so far unless I slip into thinking about it too much. We both kinda have a feeling that it isn't leukemia, but with me being the way I am, I start thinking, "Then if it's not leukemia, what else can it be?"
So far, she's been tested for liver issues and they've found none; I think she was recently tested this last week for appendix-related issues, but those results haven't come back yet. She went in on... Friday, I believe? for tests, and her doctor told her she would let her know if anything abnormal came up, but they would schedule a biopsy and full-panel test for two weeks in any event. Last night as we were texting, she told me that the lymph nodes on her neck were hurting her too much, so she decided to see if her doctor would allow a walk-in appointment. I decided to read up on biopsies and what to expect at appointments, in terms of reading how soon a doctor recommends certain kinds of appointments.
Since she mentioned nothing about the appointment, I asked her about it, and she had said that the doctor ran a few more blood tests and recommended a biopsy, dermatology appointment (she's had a rash for the last three weeks over her face, chest, and arms), and a hematology appointment. I asked if she had tried to get her to do those the same day or within a day, as my research had pointed that if doctors are very worried, they'll try to schedule you in for a hematologist and oncologist the same day. I was relieved when she said the doctor didn't urge her to schedule it today, but my heart sank when she said the doctor straight up told her she is very worried about my mom, and was sad to not have more news as the hospital that did her blood test hadn't sent the results yet.
We probably won't find out one way or another for probably a week or so, depending on how soon she gets all of these appointments done, but it just feels like I'm wading through Jell-O this week. She's only 52, and she's honestly my best friend. We text all day, from the time I wake up, I usually have 2-3 texts from her already, and all the way up until my shift ends at 2 AM. We call each other names and play pranks on each other. She's always accepted me for who I am, despite me not ending up like my sisters (who are all radically different from each other but we all have enough in common to get along splendidly) who are into makeup, dying their hair, shoes, etc. We never went through a stage where we were consistently arguing or angry with each other; the only major thing we disagreed about was my move to New Zealand a few years back (but she eventually gave me her blessing), but we're both really happy to only live an hour away from each other.
It just feels weird with knowing that before the weekend, everything was just fine (relatively) and now we're faced with this big ugly prospect.
She's had an incredibly tough life; she doesn't talk about it to people outside of the family because she doesn't like to (she's also a very private person), but she grew up in a third world country and in one of the most dangerous cities in the world (constantly rated as the most dangerous city in the world), broke away from an unhealthy family situation, married at 17 to do so, opened and operated several successful businesses, sold them to move to the US so that we might not grow up the same way she did, and has basically dealt with huge adversities almost week after week some years.
It also comes at a crappy time, as in the last month, she accidentally rear-ended some former friends/current co-workers of hers. The accident was minor in the sense the no one was hurt, but her car was deemed totaled just three months after buying it. She was still making payments on it, so her insurance company told her the check for it being totaled will pay off the car but she'll have to take out another loan for another car. Because she can't instantly come up with a downpayment, she's been walking to work five days a week if she can't get a ride (luckily, my brother-in-law has been providing that to her most days, as well as co-workers). She started getting the rash when she was walking, and we figured she was just sensitive to sweating. Then it got worse and began spreading over her body more and making her face puffy. In the midst of that, we found out that those former friends decided they wanted to sue her, so she's having to deal with a lawsuit, and then found out that there was a chance of leukemia as her condition worsens quickly. I haven't been able to visit since I'm stuck in school or work all day, but she attended a party for my brother-in-law's birthday and my best friend was there too; he told me she looked drained and in pain the whole time, which makes me tear up.
I'm not peddling for sympathy or money or anything. I suppose I'm still holding out hope that it isn't leukemia because her symptoms are similar but not the same. For example, her swollen lymph nodes hurt, whereas ones usually associated with leukemia are not painful. She hasn't had a swollen or painful abdominal area, so her doctors are also still kinda holding out hope that her body is fighting an infection. She's not responding to antibiotics though, which makes them worried.
Does anyone have any miracle stories of symptoms looking like leukemia but ending up not being leukemia? My only ones are my own, where I was about to be tested for it but ended up just having a blood disorder, and my sister's, who ended up having diabetes. I guess I just need to know I'm not crazy for hoping it's something else.
Apologies for the long post, and for rambling, and for even posting something like this here. I guess I just need to get some words out before I keep them in for too long. She and I are both relieved that leukemia at least has a high success rate for treatment, and that we have a Cancer Treatment Center of America about an hour away, so we're trying to prepare for either outcome.
