Game Skyrim Forum

The final fountain

The man moved quietly through the dusty, moonlit streets. Several guards were about, but no matter, he would deal with that when the time came. As he jumped to another patch of darkness, the conversation between two sentries up the street stopped. Wavering torchlight began to illuminate the darkness around the corner, coming closer and closer to the man.

He turned quickly, grasping a wooden beam of a house above him and pulling himself up fluidly. He positioned his feet under him and leaped to the next beam, and the next. The torchlight grew brighter, and as the guard rounded the corner, the man stopped moving. He gripped his sword tightly. The guard peered up into the shadows, and locked onto the place where he crouched. The guard began to turn, but the man was quicker. He drew the sword and snapped his arm forward. The weapon pierced the guard's throat as he began a futile shout.

The man turned and vaulted a side beam to reach the house's roof. Gaining a running start he moved to the edge and leaped. Cold water flashed before his eyes, and then darkness.

This really is a short story.

it was a good action sequence and good description during the fight but without a proper back story it seems like just meaningless violence

i know you as the writer meant for it to be this way but to me the fight doesn't carry much weight without a story around it

however the part that was written was good

Well written, and evocative. More of a scene than a story, but a brilliant one.

It was a good action sequence. Watch your tenses though because it looks like you drifted between past and present tense a couple of times. You also have to find a way to clearly distinguish the characters. When you have two guys, "he" can be confusing when describing lots of actions.

Other than that, it evoked a pretty clear image in my head. Thanks.

Thanks for reading guys.