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The Forsaken Road of Death

PostPosted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 11:47 pm
by carla
Billy looked at his family and knew they had to rest they had been walking along this road for 4 days, and it showed. The fatigue had started to show in their faces and also in their demeanor. They had started to become exasperated with each other, and were becoming less and less alert of their surroundings. Billy had wanted to make it to Tenpenny Tower in about 3 days but that was too hopeful, especially with a 10 year old boy dawdling about. He knew that they had to rest soon, otherwise they would die of fatigue.

He had decided to make a camp between 2 rocks that would disguise their makeshift home for the night. He relaxed for a while with his wife and son but they soon drifted into sleep. He took his usual role as watchman, but something was different about tonight, something so peaceful that eased his soul. He looked up to the stars and decided that he would close his eyes, but just for a minute.

...

He woke up to a woman screaming " BILLY HELP ME, HELP YOUR SON!! " he recognized the voice but couldn't open his eyes. He had felt as though he had taken to much Jet, he couldn't move his body at all. The woman screamed again, there were two shots and all went quiet

...

He woke up to two men that looked content, he saw them mouthing words and he could here them too but couldn't understand them. The drugs must still be in his system. A sharp pain was felt as his head rocked back violently, again those two men. They looked angry this time. " GET UP YOU DOG!!!! " they kicked Billy repeatedly in the stomach area, and he was fully awake now. He noticed that his wife was gone, and so was his son. He questioned the men on their wereabouts. They laughed and kicked him all the harder. " Oh those two? they are burning behind that rock!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA" Billy felt an anger that he had never felt before in his entire life. This burning anger forced him wide awake, adrenaline in his system. He lunged at the men to tear their throats out with his bear hands but he was restrained by a tightly bound rope. They laughed again at his anger and then at his sorrow. After saying a prayer for his deceased wife and son he thought of what he would do next; revenge of course. The men had mentioned that they had intended to sell him away to slavery, and that his puny wife and son would never make it. So they did them a favor and killed them the slavers laughed as they saw him become infuriated and they soon went to sleep.

In their quick haste to make fun they had not thought about the wit of they captive. While the men were taunting him, Billy had scoped out his way of escape. A razor sharp combat knife was on the belt of the second man. He squirmed over to the knife and slowly pulled it out of the man's holster. He cut open his restraints, and looked for a efficient torture tool to leave the men withering in pain. After looking around he had only found a .32 pistol. It was not a good weapon for torture so instead he decided to use the knife. After tying the men up in the same manner that he had been tied up he woke them up with a swift kick to their "vital area". They woke up screaming pain, Billy had forgotten about his steel toed boots, he smiled at the result of the awakening. Not listening to their pleas for mercy he amputated their arms, legs and tesitcles. Their torsos were the only things left, and they were still alive... barely.

Billy walked to his dead family and looked to the sky. He had no reason to live anymore, just alive with his pain. No one will do this to anyone again, Billy was sure of it.

The Forsaken Road of Death

PostPosted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 11:05 pm
by Fam Mughal
brutal, but good job.

The Forsaken Road of Death

PostPosted: Tue Aug 18, 2009 12:11 am
by Ruben Bernal
brutal, but good job.

Thanks, i tried to capture the emotion of what i would do if somebody killed my family


edit: after rereading i felt that adding that note was important so that people dont take me as a psycho

The Forsaken Road of Death

PostPosted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 2:03 pm
by Jah Allen
Haha. Is this a one shot, with multiple edits, or will it continue.

The Forsaken Road of Death

PostPosted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 9:20 pm
by Nina Mccormick
If people like it i will continue. critisism is always welcome

The Forsaken Road of Death

PostPosted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 4:21 pm
by Jason White
I think it should. Billy would do some crazy undercover operation in the Pitt or something, to bring down Asher(if the Lone Wanderer hasn't already)

The Forsaken Road of Death

PostPosted: Tue Aug 18, 2009 3:43 am
by Brittany Abner
i didn't even think about that. Thats a good idea! Thanks i will write probably tommorow

The Forsaken Road of Death

PostPosted: Tue Aug 18, 2009 1:48 am
by Sherry Speakman
I like it. It's a bit disturbing and Gorey

But wait a second I like disturbing and gorey things :thumbsup: Goodjob!

The Forsaken Road of Death

PostPosted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 10:33 pm
by sam smith
Hmm, not bad. Do continue. :thumbsup:

The Forsaken Road of Death

PostPosted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 9:35 pm
by CYCO JO-NATE
It was dusk and he had walked for while. While he walked he thought of his life and how empty it will be without his family. With out realizing it he had pulled out his .32 pistol and looked at it for the longest time. " No she wouldn't have wanted it to end like this, I can't be weak. I must purge the wasteland ". Just as he was putting the pistol away, he thought he saw a figure quite a distance away.

The figure hadn't noticed Billy and it was good too, because he seemed to be a raider. Billy had heard stories of raiders, they kill, steal and terrorize the wasteland. Whenever they caotured a wastelander that was of no use to themselves, they would them in horrible ways. They would dismember their bodies and leave their carcasses out; to strike fear into other wastelanders. Billy detested these men, he would purge the wasteland of their ugly ways.

Billy carefully approached the raider camp. Even though the camp was made up of only one house, there seemed to be about 5-7 men. Not good for someone with only a .32 pistol and a combat knife. One of the raiders was standing guard, he was becoming careless after uneventful evening. He had wandered away from the house and more towards the street. Perfect for an easy asassination. By now it was pitch black, the very depth of night. Billy gripped the knife well, and slowly crept up to the lone raider. The knife plunged into the raider's sternum. The raider shook a little, but after a volley of stabs the shaking stopped. Billy checked to see if he had anything worth taking, he had a baseball bat and two frag grenades. He gathered up the frags and made it back to the other raiders.

He looked for a window to scope out the raiders, he waited for what seemed like hours for them to get close enough together to be put down with one grenade. They still weren't in position, and soon it would be light and he would have to go in guns-a-blazin with only a .32 pistol. Not smart. Then he had a brilliant idea to use the table as shrapnel he threw the grenades under the table, and the table blew to bits. He charged into the house to find a bloody mess of raider bits. One was still alive, barely Billy drew his combat knife and slit his throat. He quickly checked the house. They didn't have anything to take, but the house was perfect to spend the night in. So he did.

The Forsaken Road of Death

PostPosted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 6:16 pm
by Catherine N
Was that part bad? I think this part of the story was my weakest part... should i continue?

The Forsaken Road of Death

PostPosted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 4:12 pm
by Stay-C
Was that part bad? I think this part of the story was my weakest part... should i continue?


You shouldn't be asking us if you want to continue. You should continue if you want to. Ignore anyone that says otherwise. Writing isn't about catering to other people, it's about pleasing yourself, first and foremost. Even if this was bad, which it isn't, that's no excuse for you not to continue. The only way to get better is to continue writing. People can be harsh if they don't like your work, trust me I know, because I'm a professional critic. You're not writing a book you're planning to sell, you're writing a fanfiction, so there's no reason to take it so seriously or to worry about what others think.

The Forsaken Road of Death

PostPosted: Tue Aug 18, 2009 3:23 am
by Cesar Gomez
Thanks, I'll write more soon

The Forsaken Road of Death

PostPosted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 10:09 pm
by Poetic Vice
He woke up to sunlight, and got out of bed. He forgot what had happened, and where he was. He looked aroundthe room that he had spent the night in and started to remember; The slavers, his family, the raiders. All dead, but in his head they were still very vivid. They appeared in a picturesque sort of way although, not real they were so damn clear. He felt as if he could reach out and touch them. He looked to the .32 pistol on the bedside dresser, the same pistol that ended his family. He wanted to ease the pain and be carefree again. Sort of like a small child. He quickly banished the thought from his mind, he had remembered his promise. He swore that he would make things right, and avenge his family.That was the last time he saw that godforsaken pistol and the visions of his dead family. Time would ease the pain. Hopefully.

.....

It was a week later, he had wandered to the North with no encounters of life. A scruffy beard had appeared on Billy's face in that week. He looked like a new man, and he also felt diffrently. He had discarded everything of his previous life. He kept one picture, his wife and child. To remember what he was fighting for. He remembered them whenever he saw a dead wastelander. An uncontrollable anger would rise inside him, like a baloon ready to pop. He would begin cursing and shouting, slipping to almost complete insanity. He hadn't felt this rage before the death of his family , not ever. He knew that whenever he got like this he would have to think. This rage could be used to his advantage as a twisted fighting style.

He continued walking, contemplating his new tactic