Here is something I think would be good for discussion.

So last night I had the choice of protecting someone I care about and thusly making my friend look bad, or not making my friend look bad and risk letting this person's feelings get hurt. My friend and her are interested in each other, and she asked me to confirm some stories she heard about him being a player. It's true, he is a player, but not on purpose, he is just fickle. I ended up taking the middle road and chose my words carefully. I'm under the belief that if you are put in the position of potentially keeping someones feelings from being hurt, even if they are by your friend, then it is ok to do so. But, with emphasis on the word potentially, you might just be making something out of nothing by informing or warning a person.

Have you ever been in this position? Feelings are feelings after all, and just because person A that you don't know isnt as much of a friend as the person B, i dont believe that his/her feelings should be any less valid. Then again, its your friend (and you) that might be taking the fall as a result.

What would you do?

Forget the girl; she is temporary but your friends last a long time.

Now, if your friend has a history of bein' unfaithful or a [censored], then you ought to be honest with the girl and should probably get better friends.

If your mate asked things about her to her girl friends, they wouldn't defame her either. That's when you get when you ask close friends and as a close friend you should stick up for him. Judging by what you posted, I'm fairly sure you did the "right" thing.

Well, put it this way: if you friend steals from people he knows, and someone asked you if he is a thief, would you stick up for him? I believe I did the right thing, sure, really I just put this situation up for discussion. In any situation, theres no excuse to end up talking [censored] about your friend through any warnings or advice that I would give her.

Stealin' and goin' in and out of relationships are two different things.

When you steal you are intentionally makin' an immoral decision. When you are a "player" you have feelings for someone but quickly get over them. There is nothin' wrong with not wantin' to find a soul mate at a young age. However, he could very well develop deep feelings for this girl and you could ruin all that by makin' him look bad. Everyone knows that bein' in a relationship is a risk because it could end at anytime; if she wants to take that risk then let her.

Sticking up for your friend if he broke the law is different. It's because people don't 'grass' on their friends why so many crimes happen and/or remain unsolved. If people actually told the truth in these circumstances the world would be a better place. And why would you want a criminal for a friend anyway?

Anyway this isn't the case with you and in your situation I wouldn't have outright lied to the girl and said no he doesn't do certain thingsm becuase that isn't fair. I would have just chosen what I said carefully and tried to avoid the question as much as possible. I think you handled the situation well.

What wolf bite above me said :thumbsup:

On the last part: indeed.
Well, that example sounds more serious than this. I see you rightfully care about this girl and what happens to her, so I'd inform your mate you stood up for him and say he better cares for once. If he clearly has no good intentions and this girl would talk to you again, I don't know whether I would be that diplomatic again if I were in your shoes. I'd say something to her like: think for yourself whether you think this is going somewhere, you know what I said the first time and that's all I can do to help. It's her choice. You can't make it work for them. Best thing is not to get in the middle of things in my opinion, for what it's worth. I could have put that a bit better, but I hope you see what I mean.

I'd tactically get myself out of the situation by changing the topic somehow. If all else fails, cough loudly and walk out of the room saying that you need some air. It's worked before. Speaking from experience here.

Edit: Just don't start coughing abruptly or it'll be too obvious. Go: "Oh, it's a funny story actually. What happened was- *COUGH COUGH COUGH* I *COUGH* need *COUGH* some air *WHEEZE*.

Explain to me how he is a player on accident and you shall here my opinion......

It's common for people who are arguing to try to bring in a third party to say who's right and who's wrong and it's really a dike thing to do. Tell them both to sort their differences out on their own.

[censored] em both, girls and friends come and go. Tell the truth and you cannot be blamed

Ofcourse, there's always the http://youtu.be/0G-423GfknM.

Just go with what is true. You do not make people look bad with words, people make themselves look bad with actions. If he is a player then that's that and there is no shame on your part in saying that. I've never been angry when people tell me out on something I do because I try not to give people reasons to do that and when they do have one then I just have to accept that.

If you think he truly is a player you tell her he is, if you don't then you tell her he isn't. How people perceive oneself on the outside does not change how they are on the inside and not being honest about someone only leads to hurt.

>=( Channel 5 has blocked that in my country. I'm certain it's british like me.

I believe you did the right thing if you believe he was in the "wrong".

Fake my own death, change my name, a start a new life in another country.

You forgot blowing up the moon

Stay out of it. Seriously. Don't get involved. It's not your responsibility or your place.


Ha! Yes, and Enron was "just fickle" about how to invest their employees' retirement funds.

Hey, loan me $100 and I'll pay you back next week. I should warn you, though, I'm fickle.

I'm not a thief, I'm just fickle about whose possession things should be in.

I'm not a murderer, I'm just fickle about how my kitchen knives are sheathed.

Sorry, that just cracked me up. :laugh:

If she's serious with longterm relationship. Tell her to wear chastity belt and continue relationship with him, explicitly making clear that he won't get between her legs until they are properly married. :cookie: