The maps are "too large/monotonous" because they provide multiple paths for people to take if they AREN'T a hulking brute of a FPS character.
Start a new character, use the DNA mixer to focus as much as you can on either psi force or hacking. Let me know how your serious sam approach goes.
Also hacking, if you're successful at it, is arguably better than your "serious sam" (which, by the way, I love the reference to, since it's a game that literally was designed with no plot or point) method of combat. You can hack practically everything and everyone in the game. It makes for some interesting scenarios when you turn the feddies against themselves or the heavy cannon turrets against the meta's.
I'd be curious to see your arguments to explain that New Eden or Forgotten Factory are identical... For example.
Like you the big sizes remind me serious sam maps at first. But with serious sam it stops at being a wide multiplayer arena with some obstacles, maps of EYE are so far to be that crap that I can only assume you just quickly played something, not sure what.
Have a bit of curiosity and dig the maps, find the secondary missions, secrets and tricks.
There's also a reinforcement setting you can mess with in the options menu under game. I've cranked mine down, as I do agree, sometimes they often respawn much too quickly.
As for the writing, yeah it's not the best. I don't think it's as bad as you describe though. Like I said earlier, you actually have to go searching for it (archives, side missions, etc). The Dialogue... yeah it's pretty off. A bit due to translation. But I know what you mean when you compare it to "CoD talk", but at the same time, I think some of it is spot on with how many people would react, in any day and age.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Patch's are on the way. This was posted just an hour or so ago:
Hello,
I'm sorry we couldn't release the patch earlier.
We have fixed a very massive amount of bugs and issues, but some still remain. We are having a hard time completely fixing the 32bit systems crashes, but we are making good progress and we are confident we will be fixing it very soon.
Again, we apologize for all this and we'd like to thank you for your patience.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It genuinely seems that IGN no longer can handle reviewing PC games, let me post some of my favorite parts of the review.
"With character building making up such an important part of E.Y.E., it feels near criminal that it's handled so poorly, all but completely marring the experience. On top of having to seek out the proper venues to buy the various upgrades I wanted, I also had to figure out an unnecessarily difficult research system and in-menu upgrade system. Why couldn't everything live in one place?"
"Maybe with enough time to learn the ins-and-outs of proper builds and where to allocate my hard earned experience and money, I could craft the ideal character to make a more satisfying play through, but E.Y.E. just isn't entertaining enough to warrant the effort or revisiting."
Complaining about having to learn how to play a game? Bloody brilliant.