The debate over which side is the right choice in the Civil War has been contentious, vociferous, and often outrageous. But it is all much easier to resolve than you think.

In the time honored debate style of our ancestors, I give thee The Skyrim Civil War Mad Lib:

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“The (Stormcloaks/Imperials) are clearly the good guys here. It is obvious the Thalmer is manipulating the (Stormcloaks/Imperials) both openly through (_____________), and behind the scenes through (______________).

Proof of this can be found by considering the fact that (___________________________) and (____________________). Anyone who doesn’t get this is missing the entire point of the game and is a fool in love, life, and all that is precious in the world.

As you can now see, clearly the (Stormcloaks/Imperials) are the good guys, Tamriel’s true defenders, and the (Stormcloak/Imperials) are the pawns of the Thalmor, intent on forcing all of Tamriel to bow before their Thalmer masters.

It couldn’t be more obvious unless the game was named The Elder Scrolls: Skyrim – How The (Stormcloaks/Imperials) Save The World.”

Bookmarked for future use.

Whut? O-o

But what about the Dunmer? The true true heroes of Skyrim.

Like this:

The Stormcloaks are clearly the good guys here. It is obvious the Thalmor is manipulating the Imperials both openly through the White Gold Concordant, and behind the scenes through mind control spells.

Proof of this can be found by considering the fact that Ulfric is no longer a Thalmor agent and the Empire remains enslaved to the will of the Thalmor. Anyone who doesn’t get this is missing the entire point of the game and is a fool in love, life, and all that is precious in the world.

As you can now see, clearly the Stormcloaks are the good guys, Tamriel’s true defenders, and the Imperials are the pawns of the Thalmor, intent on forcing all of Tamriel to bow before their Thalmor masters.

It couldn’t be more obvious unless the game was named The Elder Scrolls: Skyrim – How The Stormcloaks Save The World.

The Imperials are clearly the good guys here. It is obvious the Thalmer is manipulating the Stormcloaks both openly through capturing, torturing and imprisoning people, leading to the Stormcloaks rising up and blaming the Empire, and behind the scenes through controlling Ulfric.

Proof of this can be found by looking inside the Thalmor embassy and find the evidence that Ulfric has been manipulated by the Thalmor and simply noting that Skyrim alone against the Thalmor and the Empire is weaker than Skyrim and the Empire united against the Thalmor. Anyone who doesn’t get this is missing the entire point of the game and is a fool in love, life, and all that is precious in the world.

As you can now see, clearly the Imperials are the good guys, Tamriel’s true defenders, and the Stormcloak are the pawns of the Thalmor, intent on forcing all of Tamriel to bow before their Thalmer masters.

It couldn’t be more obvious unless the game was named The Elder Scrolls: Skyrim – How The Imperials Save The World.

Holy hell!! I am a fool in love, life and all that is precious in... aw.. wait?

This iz be funny! xD

Stormtroopers vs Stormcloaks.
Whos gonna' win?

MY TURN! But I'll do it in my way.

DO NOT GET ANY CLOSER or your head will explode.

“The Imperial cloacks are clearly the good guys here. It is obvious the Thalmer is manipulating the Ushua Tree both openly through Beer and Donuts, and behind the scenes through buying them System of a Down Music Albums.

Proof of this can be found by considering the fact that I always loved System of a Down and Hated Donuts. Anyone who doesn’t get this is missing the entire point of the game and is a fool in love, life, and all that is precious in the world. And, thus, is a moron.

As you can now see, clearly the Donut deliverers are the good guys, Tamriel’s true defenders, and the trolls are the pawns of the Thalmor, intent on forcing all of Tamriel to bow before their Thalmer trollface masters.

It couldn’t be more obvious unless the game was named The Elder Scrolls: Skyrim – How The Superman Saves The World.”

This looks like fun, can I play?

“The Giants are clearly the good guys here. It is obvious the Thalmer is manipulating the Giants both openly through mammoth teleportation into the skies, and behind the scenes through tasty mammoth steaks.

Proof of this can be found by considering the fact that mammoths fall out of the damn sky all the time and mammoth steaks are being sold on the black market. Anyone who doesn’t get this is missing the entire point of the game and is a fool in love, life, and all that is precious in the world.

As you can now see, clearly the Giants are the good guys, Tamriel’s true defenders, and the Mammoths are the pawns of the Thalmor, intent on forcing all of Tamriel to bow before their Thalmer masters.

It couldn’t be more obvious unless the game was named The Elder Scrolls: Skyrim – How The Giants Save The World.”

I am the agent of chaos and disorder!

Now all the NPCs and monsters are going to be the good/bad guys.

I think it is funnier and less harmful than discussing who's the good or bad guys here. Really!

Definitely funnier!

Revised:

I am clearly the only good guy here. It is obvious the Thalmor is manipulating everyone else in the world both openly through the ban on tin foil hats, and behind the scenes through using wolves to smuggle murder weapons.

Proof of this can be found by considering the fact that I am certifiably not insane and everyone else is out to get me. Anyone who doesn’t get this is missing the entire point of the game and is a fool in love, life, and all that is precious in the world.

As you can now see, clearly I am the good guy, Tamriel’s true defender, and everyone else are the pawns of the Thalmor, intent on forcing all of Tamriel to bow before their Thalmor masters.

It couldn’t be more obvious unless the game was named The Elder Scrolls: Skyrim – How I Save The World.”

You are supposed to tell us if we put an adjective, noun, ect. in the open spots....

I guess it is only fair if I take a crack at it myself:


“The Spriggans are clearly the good guys here. It is obvious the Thalmer is manipulating the Mudcrabs both openly through genetic modification experiments, and behind the scenes through Whiterun Clam Chowder.

Proof of this can be found by considering the fact that the Spriggans are nature’s warriors, the defender the trees and flowers, and are absolutely pacifistic (except when trying to violently murder you, which is always). Anyone who doesn’t get this is missing the entire point of the game and is a fool in love, life, and all that is precious in the world.

As you can now see, clearly the Spriggans are the good guys, Tamriel’s true defenders, and the Mudcrabs are the pawns of the Thalmor, intent on forcing all of Tamriel to bow/claw down before their Thalmer masters.

It couldn’t be more obvious unless the game was named The Elder Scrolls: Skyrim – How The Spriggans Save The World.”

“The Guards are clearly the good guys here. It is obvious the Thalmer is manipulating the Arrows both openly through making them hit adventurers in the knee, and behind the scenes through making the guard force consist solely of maimed, former adventurers.

Proof of this can be found by considering the fact that any guard will tell you that (s)he has taken an arrow in the knee and all of the guards are secretly Dragonborn. Anyone who doesn’t get this is missing the entire point of the game and is a fool in love, life, and all that is precious in the world.

As you can now see, clearly the Guards are the good guys, Tamriel’s true defenders, and the Arrows are the pawns of the Thalmor, intent on forcing all of Tamriel to bow before their Thalmer masters.

It couldn’t be more obvious unless the game was named The Elder Scrolls: Skyrim – How The Guards Save The World.”

Stormcloaks = Stormfront

ALL GAZE UPON MY AMAZING INSIGHT.

j/k