if so how, she doesn't have a dialogued opyion for me when wearing the AOM after doing her quest

No. http://www.uesp.net/wiki/Skyrim:Marriage of everyone you can marry.

anyone notice the total lack of possible redguard spouses? Lame.. also lame that argonians and khajiits can't marry their own species..

I'm not married in game but as far as I'm aware you can marry anyone, I spoke to some priest in Riften I think it was, he was arguing in the tavern about the perils of drinking and when I spoke to him he gave a dialog option about marriage and then gave me a necklace to wear in order to let others know I was elligable.

Sorry scrub that I never read your post correctly.

no you cannot marry anyone :\