Try opening the console, clicking on Jaree-ra, and then typing "resetAI" minus quotes. Or you could wait three days. That should calm him down.
showracemenu will bring up the screen that you used to create your character in the first place, which will allow you to edit their appearance.
From the UESP:
Note: Using this command to alter one's race will reset skills and health/magicka/stamina to default levels. This command can be safely used to alter a character's appearance without causing any unwanted side-effects as long as race is not changed. However, it should be noted that upon completing your changes and choosing a name for your character, all temporary active effects (such as Gift of Charity or shrine blessings) will be removed. Racial resistances will no longer be listed in Active Effects until the game is loaded from the main menu, at which time racial resistances will be automatically reapplied. Permanent active effects such as those from guardian stones or perks will not be lost. Active effects granted from enchanted items will not be listed until the items are re-equipped.