A good way to trigger get the DB to come looking for you? You always had to commit a murder in order to get the DB's attention... always! That's what the DB is about! LOL Plus, I really can't feel sorry for the old woman you have to kill initially! =p

That questline isn't evil, the Thalmor are an evil organization, bent on undercutting the livelihood of all non Atmers and persucuting people merely for worshipping Talos. They're pretty much Elf Nazis.

It was roleplaying a good guy that I figured out I can skip Bryn and head down to the warrens, I figured I'd see if I could just seek Esbern out because I refused to have anything to do with some plot to get rid of a vendor in Riften.

I had to kill a few lowlife sorts down there and came into some really gross rooms and found some very scary individuals before I was able to get into the bar and ask around. Those folks were less than helpful and I ended up having to bribe the barkeep but he did finally tell me where I needed to go. The Thalmor were everywhere, and they wouldn't hear me on any subjects, so I ended up having to kill a few of them as well... and I did eventually find Esbern who was very distrustful and thankfully also knew the way back out of that horrible stinky ratway.

I'm not sure about the bar tender at Ragged Flagon but I know you can speak to the Argonian bar tender at the Inn. She tells you what you need to know.

well you odnt have to do it. when i got to this bit i didnt even speak to him, i just found the ratways and off we went, so there is no "comprimise"....

When you talk to Delphine, she tells you she thinks Esbern is probably in the Ratways. So you forego Brynjolf and head directly into the Ratways... Duh That's how I did it. And yes, you can then still ask the bartender at the Ragged Flagon, though it will take more buttering up if you're not a member of the Thieves Guild.

I bagged out of that quest at the same point - didn't want to steal the ring

It sounds like you may have initiated A Chance Arrangement. If so, you can fail it by just getting caught trying to pick the lock on Madesi's display case. It still counts as completing that quest and it chains into Taking Care of Business, but it will allow you to ask Brynjolf about Esbern if you want to do A Cornered Rat the way the game wants.

Play a different game?

For me it was easy to find the exit... After entering that place I dropped once a while an apple or tomatoe or whatever I had useless in my inventory. So it was easy to find my way back.

your the dragonborn, if bashing some skulls and extorting some innocents is going to ultimately help you save the world and end the unrest in the lands, so be it.

now, if youre going through whiterun mindlessly slaughtering every man woman children and dog then thats a whole different issue.

DB: I paid a visit to the orphanage before I did the deed. She was bad news. It was horrible. She was abusive and tortured those poor children. She had a torture chamber. Grelod the Kind was not kind at all. She scarred those kids for life. Some probably would turn into serial killers. Death. But I chose the Khajiit in the shack because well, ... he was the worst of the lot.

TG: Well, they're pretty bad in this iteration.

It's easy to say the ends justify the means. Sometimes it may even be true, but usually it's just you psyching yourself to do something you know is wrong.

Let me add one more thing.

You can't play this game, even as a hero without having a moment of conscience. I did the Companion quest, yet I had to become a werewolf, go after a bunch of werewolf hunters, and eventually undo my werewolf status. Fortunately these werewolf hunters were a pretty reprehensible lot, but still there was a question of ethics to consider.

Sometimes playing the good guy in Skyrim involves making sacrifices. I allowed the skull of corruption to be destroyed because it was the right thing to do. You have to be willing to make those sacrifices even though you lose a few toys. In FO3 I was quite peeved to find out I had to miss out on Callihan's Magnum just because i was a good guy.

Have your good character do the main quest. Your bad or morally grey character can do everything else!

I thought it was an Argonian. ...when I do the DB quests on another character, I'm going to kill the woman in the middle because she was the nastiest of the 3 when I let them go.

OMFG that gun was hard to pass up, but I had to pass on it, too.

The Skull of Corruption.... now this one cost me an achievement.. especially the way the lying, cheating, sh** Dovahkiin has turned into. I'm going to have to do a "Daedric Playthrough" with doing only whatever it takes to finish the Daedric quests which is going to be a PITA.