Why can I not sleep in my own bed in the house I bought?
I get the " bed owned " message! Of course the bed is owned: by myself !!

are you trying to sleep in your housecarls bed? which house is it?

What house? what bed? If you bought the house in Whiterun, the small room with the single bed is supposed to be your Housecarl's room and you get the "bed owned" message.

Your room is the one with the double bed, but yes, Lydia will hang out there all day long! lol

Yep, even when you're married and close the doors. Lydia is Skyrim's equivalent to a stalker chick, lol.