Hi,

I need some help getting back into Skyrim. I really looked forward to the game and I enjoyed it the first 60 hours, but then my char became archmage all over a sudden and that ruined my experience.

Since then Im really trying very hard to get back into it. I basically know what I like, but I can't put it together.

- I have created a female breton character that I really love

- In Elder Scrolls, Im obsessed picking up "dark" items, storing them, creating them, and decorating my house with them. So did I in Oblivion. Skulls, black soul gems, human flesh & hearts, bones, skulls, basically all about Necromancy. Books about necromancy, necromancer robes, black robes, self enchanted objects I call things like "Worm King's robe" or such things. Don't ask me why, but I can't leave those things on the floor, I have to pick them up. Don't judge me
--> Way harder to do than in Oblivion. Nearly no black soul gems (let alone crafting them yourself), no pickable bones, no ability to get human flesh or hearts from corpses, only very few necromancer books (why are nearly all books in dungeons and even some houses damaged?), no unenchanted necromancer robes, I can't create potions called "Human blood" cause I cant name potions, I cant enchant my own robe because already enchanted ones are superior, etc. etc. etc.)

- As you probably noticed, I love necromancy. I did it in Oblivion, my character was obsessed with it, he wanted to avoid death, he summoned zombies and skeletons, it was really cool, he even wanted to become a lich which eventually he did
-> That said, I hate raising undead in Skyrim. I find this so sad. Its so random, I basically just throw a blue-glowing ball on a corpse and it stands up and fights for me for 30 seconds. That makes me have to rush through dungeons because they disappear after like 60 seconds, and it doesn't really give me the feeling of being a necromancer at all. What would I give for being able to "craft" skeletons or zombies, or even summoning them (or Draugr) would be great. Summoning ghosts is also something Im missing. I mean, summoning skeletons out of nowhere could be considered a bit unrealistic, but summoning souls without any physical vessel - Why not? Would be awesome.

- In Oblivion, I loved that my character had his own goals apart from guilds, quests and main storylines. He wanted to become a powerful necromancer, to be able to save the ones he loves from dying. He went a long path, starting with collecting bones, catching black souls, summoning soulless zombies, later he even joined the Dark Brotherhood because he found the best way to defeat death was to ally with him. He fell in deep love with Antoinetta Marie, but he knew she always was in danger because of what she was, an assassin. When he was told to kill her, he was lost. But he did it, because he felt that this would not be the end of their relationship. He was, in the end, rewarded by the Night Mother herself, granting him access to Antoinettas soul for his loyalty and letting him revive her. It was mind-blowingly fun and immersive.
-> Im so sad that Im lacking of this in Skyrim. I try to do it, but its really difficult. My female breton character is basically supposed to be a descendant of this character and has the same mindset. Problems: There are nearly no black soul gems, you can't create them. You can't even pick up bones. There is no story about necromancy to be told ingame and apart from the Raise Dead spells, you can't do anything in that direction. I joined the Dark Brotherhood in the hope of getting the same experience as in Oblivion, but so far I didn't even do the first quest. Why I loved the Brotherhood was because of their manic but adorable characters and their traditions, their values and believes. Now comes a little spoiler to the entering of the dark brotherhood:


Also, I can't even decorate my house in necromancy style because everything messes up as soon as you leave and re-enter. And even if it wouldn't, its now much more difficult to place items.
Also, there aren't many "dark" items. I don't really want daedric artifacts, because:

- My character is supposed to worship the Aedra. Or at least some of them. I see her as being generally "good" and she is seeking for love and family. And I can't see a character that worships the Divines worshipping the Daedra or doing their dirty work.

- Im liking to wear robes, especially with a female character because I can't see her in heavy armor. I would consider light armor, but they don't look that good to me and necromancer robes just fit my character much better. Buuut...
-> I want to play on master, because I would feel like cheating playing on a lower difficulty. I think its just about right for normal enemies. In the beginning your at a level with random bandits, its fine.
-> Buuut, for my new playthrough I considered Dead is Dead, because I always get bored with the characters I play in Skyrim and I feel it may strengthen the bonds between my character and me. Also, it requires slower playing and being more careful. If I know it won't matter to die, I lose excitement somehow.
----> This is a deadly mix. No armor, master difficulty, DisD. This is because of the unbalance of the game, I can kill many enemies like bandits or wolves easily, but then three ice wolves appear which all one- or two-hit me.

So now, after all this, here is my issue: Unlike Oblivion, I fail to create motivations, goals and an own story for my character. There are no characters that I like or that are important for me, because even the nicest persons only have like two lines of dialogue and you can't interact with them at all. They have no backstory, no soul. Also, how is my character supposed to pursue his goal of becoming a necromancer? As I said, I don't want to raise undead, because I don't like the mechanics. And I can't collect much and if I do, I can't do anything with it. I can't relate to the factions because I can't do many quests for them, simply because they are so short that I have to force myself to leave some quests for later. Other than that, nearly no interaction with the guilds. Radiant quests I looked forward to, but they are just too random and soulless. Like e.g. db quests, they give you a name and you kill the person. WTF? I don't need a quest for that.

Also, a side note on how my "playthroughs" normally end: I start with enthusiasm knowing what I want, I do quests, explore, join guilds, and after some time I get bored, I lose interest in progressing. I say to myself "So I do this and that - And then what? I will have this cool item that is a special artifact and makes enchanting easier (no spoiling here^^), but what after that?" In Oblivion, in this cases I was always excited that I can enchant something, give it a dark name and decorating my house with it. Also, all these steps were natural progress in my characters story and I always looked at the greater goal. In this game, it doesn't work, and I dont exactly know why. Something is missing...

Furthermore, Im always unsure at how to play. I tried melee and liked it, but then got bored, I tried mage and loved it, but then got bored, I tried assassin and loved it, but then got bored ...

Oh, I also find myself thinking that I want to share my characters story, but I don't really know how. I don't want to do Lets Plays because I don't wanna talk all the time and Im very into roleplaying, so I take way too much time for that and I would feel under too much pressure. I don't want to write big stories because it takes too much time. And shot diary entries, okay, but where to publish them? Who would be interested in this and actually read this, probably no one. (Im German, so I wouldn't write here, and in other forums it seems misplaced).

Now, if you read all this, thank you very much. After all this information, do you have suggestions on how to get back into this awesome game?

Deep, man.

I feel I need to be a psychiatrist to answer your problem!

I would say to make a character who is a continuation of your previous character from Oblivion, perhaps he had a blow to the end, reducing his memory and losing his skills and much of his past... having to start again and get used to the culture shock of being in a very different part of Tamriel for the first time. The lack of soul is simply the coldness of the people and the climate... and disorientation.

But it will warm on you.

There is less character development -character build and guild quest depth in Skyrim than the other ES games. I can't tell you how to get into your character, and Skyrim designers didn't care very much. You are supposed to enjoy finding interesting things to explore and do. Be a tourist and be happy.

That story made me sad, mostly because I understand what you're feeling but can't think of a solution other than to ditch necromancy and go for a different character which is more suited to skyrim. Surely there must be other character concepts that you'd find enjoyable, in the same vein. How about you roleplay as an exiled Forsworn Shaman (Breton)? You can use conjuration to summon elementals, the storm shout, alchemy, magic in the offhand and an axe in the mainhand. And you could perfom strange rituals with human hearts and other gory bits, and mix strange potions, to try and cheat death as your necromancer did.