I was talking to this one female farmer who I had helped and she said "I hope my daughter is OK now she is over in Riften" (paraphrased)... Daughter in question was about 5ft away IN FRONT OF HER at the time.

I wonder if they invented opticians in Skyrim yet?

But then to make it even funnier the female farmer started berating her daughter for not working in the field hard enough.

Then there was the time I looked into this cage that was holding a Sabre Cat. I just wondered if there was anything in there that the cat was protecting. THEN THE CAT VANISHED... I turn around and there is the cat. Cue a Benny Hill chase scene (I wasn't that high a level at the time). Since that happened the 1.3 patch has hit and it seems to happen a LOT more now.


Sometimes this game is really trippy.

Making the guards in Windhelm constantly attack Rolff.

Just today while running around, I noticed a figure at the top corner of the screen. I thought it was a dragon so I looked up and started headind towards it, as I got closer it started falling. Turns out it was a mammoth that fell to its death but I have no idea what it was doing in mid air in the first place.

Occasionally the Mammoths go into Bouncy Castle Mode. Usually it is a Giant's fault... bumps into them and BOING... up they go. Good for getting mammoth parts as they go splat when they land.

Just yesterday I witnessed the "self-destruct-mechanism" of the game!

As most players know Riften is far east and thus Stormcloak territory. Ignoring that the game sent an imperial courier to the city...and when he entered all hell broke lose!

The city guard instantly attacked the courier. My dog attacked the city guard. The city guard attacked me because my dog attacked them. Maven Blackbriar attacked the city guard. When the curier went down, Maven didn't stop. As she is essential she always got back up and continued her attack. This would've gone on forever, with her and the guards fighting and every single citizen running like a beheaded chicken trough the town.

Game over!

Luckily I had a few more savegames, thus giving me the chance to see that this "self-desctruct-device" even has a "fuse", and a pretty long one, too. You see, this imperial curier didn't just spawn in the city. When I loaded an older savegame and turned around I could see him running towards the city from at least a mile away (and he probably originated somewhere, too). Half a mile before he reached the city I was able to nicely place an arrow in his back, thus ending the self-destruction-sequence and avoiding to throw away a 210+ hour game!

It amazes and angers me both. Because somewhere in the game logic the AI decided to let a curier start a long run, maybe from the imperial camp in the Rift, or maybe even far in the west, sending him to Riften; and the player can, if choosing the same route, follow him until the catastrophic conclusion. Wow. And on the other hand I would've coursed Bethesda into Oblivion (yeah! *rimshot*) had I not been able to circumvent it!

I love this kind of stuff hehe

That's awesome. It's a perfect example of why Bethesda had to scale back their ambitions for Radiant AI. These things take tons of testing to ensure the whole game won't implode into a bloodbath.

The best glitch I found by myself was after I killed a dragon in Solitude. The three children were standing there in awe and the boy says "In all my years I've never seen such a thing!" Pretty sure they added that one for the kids because it's hilarious, but then came the glitch when I talked to him: "It's dead now, but where did it come from?" My available response: "Sure! Tag sounds like fun!"

My friend found the more entertaining glitch where you freeze somebody with a shout and they start spinning around the room like a breakdancing pinball. We just about fell off our chairs laughing at that.

Best glitch I've seen, that mammoths were walking on each other, so 1 mammoth upon the other. After staring at it for a while, the mammoth slooooowly fell, pretty funny to see.

Funniest one I've seen was about the time I was walking out of Markarth and I saw a brown horse flying in the air. I stared at it for about a minute thinking it was a brown unicorn (lololololololol)--but as it got out of eye sight for me on my screen, I saw the dragon pop up. So it turns out the Dragon caught the horse with its feet and flew away from the area. Was kinda funny at first. I actually believed it was a Unicorn xD

One pretty weird one, I was mining iron ore in a mine, done four ores then I saw a glitched ore, the ore wall was sticking out in the mine and was just visible going back, this did not matter for me so I started mining it.
Mining animation starts and I fond myself 15 meters closer to the entrance mining a ore I passed as some npc was mining it.

I was also doing a quest where you investigate a murder, you find who is the murder and investigate her house, you find that she is an vampire and member of an vampire clan.
Now as I exited the house and was on my way to report my finding I saw somebody running out of the city, I sprinted and was able to intercept her, it was the killer, acting friendly on her way to the vampire lair.
I was then asked to kill the boss in the lair, cleared it all out and found the killer sleeping, she was still friendly but I decided to kill her, doing so I got the message that the last witness was killed and my bounty was reduced to zero, I probably picked up something in her house investigating.

<sub>Funniest thing i saw was when i was talking to a dragon for a quest. Mid conversation, the dragon suddenly shot straight up, then proceeded to slowly circle down towards me. As it got closer to the ground, the downdraft from its wings started to increasingly shake the ground. Finally, it reached the ground, only to continue circling and slowly disappear beneath the snow. Laughed my head off, as the dragon was talking the whole time!

Also, yesterday while travelling from Whiterun, I saw a blood dragon circling, then suddenly crash land into the ground. Not sure if it was a glitch or working as intended, but made me laugh.</sub>

I also have to add the one time I learned to avoid chickens at all costs...

I was playing with Telekinesis, and I accidently threw a bowl or something at a chicken, who died from the impact. Then the whole city (riverwood) charged me, I mean litterly, e-v-e-r-y o-n-e. And I couldnt pay for my crimes or anything...

I guess you did pay...with your life.

came out the back of bleak falls barrow and spotted something on the ground in the distance which looked like a giant caterpillar. i shot a firebolt at it and it turned out to be a dragon skeleton which slowly came out of the ground and flew away O_o

the same thing happened the next time i went to bleak falls barrow but it hasnt happened since

hehe, coward as I am, I ran. And I ran for my life.

Problem was, when I arrived at the Solitude stable, for my MQ, the girl from the blades waited for me... and she is from Riverwood. So she started attacking me as well, lol. I couldnt go on with my MQ.
I actually learned another important thing of this incident; always, always manually save.

:-)

Let me tell you all the story of Spider-Bear...

Lydia and I were exploring a cave full of bears that had some interesting loot. I ready my bow to attack a bear in the distance while Lydia takes care of two much closer to us when this bear rears up on its hind legs, and rapidly ascends into the cave ceiling, disappearing entirely. I was confused, but was brought back to my senses when a bear dropped down from the ceiling right in front of me. @#$%^!& Spider-Bear.

The last one I remember:

I just cleared a bandit camp that was on the main road. There were some big rocks spread around the floor (the ones some bandits hold on a cage and drop when you are near, trying to damage you).

Well, as I was leaving the area, I crossed 3 thalmors with a prisoner. They mean attack-on-sight for this character, so I attacked, and killed them.

Right after that, I freed the prisoner, and this is what happened:

He started running while screaming: "Lets show those pigs who this land belongs t..HAARRGG!!".

He didn't even manage to finish the word "TO". He did a perfect faceplant against one of the rocks that was sitting there on the floor, and died instantly.

I almost spit out my beer all over the keyboard.

This is the screenshot:

http://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198019279399/screenshot/651001246700812252?tab=public

LOL! Yeah, those rocks are leathal, even lying around doing nothing.

I was just walking down one of the main roads minding my own business. Then a cow drops out of the sky, looks around, and takes off down the road. I expected it to splatter and was laughing too hard to chase it down and kill it. Of course after surviving that fall it was probably invincible anyway...

I was trying to jump onto the top of a stone pillar in the courtyard at high hrothgard waiting for the graybeards to finish talking. I never got on top of it, but my character glitched into a frozen midjump animation. With one leg extended and the other with the knee in the air. And both arms in the air. There was no walking animation he was just floating around like this. It looked pretty creepy.

More annoying then funny, but I was at solitude, just doing the quest for the party. Started chatting with the lady about party clothes, and what to do, etc, etc. She is in mid conversation, when this dragon pays a visit to the town. She's like "one sec, brb", charges off, along with various other NPCs to attack the dragon. So I'm like, "sigh, another dragon" cmoparing them to cliffracers.... After that dragon, I resume my chat, and am constantly told I'm not dressed right, and i'm like, "Stupid woman, you didn't finish telling me the plan".
I had to look up how to progress the quest, all over wearing clothes.....

Damn dragons.

Well outside winterhold i went in the ocean to see what i could when i went out onto an iceberg i looked up and i saw lots of flying schools of fish.

God those rocks. Saw this bandit rock trap and waited just beyond it. Entire bandit gang came hurtling out of the camp and proceeded to trigger their own trap. Was a case of everyone tripping over until they died while I just stood there looking puzzled.

Same thing happened in this one tower. I get chased up this tower and then spot the rock trap at the top... I trigger it and hear "Ooof, arrgg, etc" and go down and they are all splattered everywhere but the lead guy was best... he was embedded up to the neck in the ceiling just hanging there. How that happened I don't know.

But the best was this one dungeon... LOADS of Draugr... and I mean LOADS of them. I positioned myself just right and up comes mr nasty and treads on a trigger plate... and this huge gate of spikes come whistling across and impales them into the wall. SPLAT. If they don't die a gentle tap on the head with my ebony sword of flames finishes them off while the trap resets to wait for the next one. I lost count of the Draugr I got in that trap.

But of course it wouldn't be perfect without a glitch. This one dreadlord triggers the trap but instead of getting impaled he gets launched... AT ME. We both hit the wall and go right through until we enter the matrix... then the game realised we were out of bounds (after about 4 seconds) and we both died damnit. Had to do the trap allllllll over again.

Have to say that these types of glitches actually IMPROVE the fun you have in the game.

Messing around in the console and accidently did this to my khajiit:

http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a160/MrDarkSim/tes5/f662aade.jpg

The dragon resurrected as skeleton glitch.

I see Alduin starting to resurrect a dragon from atop a hill. I get close to the burial mound right as the dragon skeleton is coming out. I know I can't hurt him, but I still throw a good Ice Breath shout at Alduin. Must have interupted the resurrection at a crucial moment, because the dragon skeleton just sits there on the ground with full health and starts to attack me while still remaining in skeletal form. No skin, nothing, just the bones fighting me.

I kill him after he takes off and flys around as a bone horror. Reload the game again. Don't attack Alduin this time and my new reborn dragon is resurrected with his skin and all his outer covering.

Was funny as hell fighting the skeleton dragon.