I have come across many weird and wonderful things in Skyrim.

from skeletons in cave's sat in compromising positions (skull on a foot with twig arms - opposite a footless skeleton giving him the finger!)
or surely everyone saw the skeleton stuck in a hay-bale reaching for a bottle of ale? no??

well then you must have picked up some skill books? but did you read them?

some are lore and in-game fact books, whereas others are hilarious jokes or darkly humoured situations
here are but a few of the funny books I enjoyed reading in skyrim and you should look out for if you want a laugh:-

Hellgard's EDIT:- Hallgard's Tale (heavy armour):- seems that 3 men can't decide on who was the best warrior of all time, until hellgard begins his tale of the champion who could do things in heavy armour no other man could...

The Locked Room (lockpicking):- a young female student annoys her teacher by never picking a lock but instead plays with it, and invents the "unpickable lock" - ending in a dark yet humorous twist!

The Black Tragedy (enchanting):- an 18yr old "know it all" mage summons a daedra for help at making his mothers birthday present, though thinking he knows everything he overlooks a few details about summoned daedra and doesn't quite get the gift he wanted...

There are many more that are funny, some that are just pure lore, some are stories better than real books i've read written by professional authors! some worse ofcourse but all the same... the guys who wrote and put the effort in to make them... didn't do it because they could, they would have done it in the hope that some will read... and those that do get rewarded!


NOTE:- there are some books - worth little, but the information itself leads you to some interesting finds and some powerful ones too! (and no im not talking about quest books...) who knows of a book that speaks of casting a certain spell, on a certain day, at a certain place, on a certain item, adorning certain gear... to get something useful??

not many... and that is why it is in the bethesda game... They are renowned for doing such things.

As for those players that say "there is no way to be totally good, you have to do things that are bad sometimes for certain quests" thats not always true... there are non-visible objectives aswell, for instance... I experienced a quest asking me to do something bad and I remembered Skjor from the companions once saying (don't always do what your told, think for yourself) I took that into account for a completely unrelated quest... and in-game weeks later... new events unfolded and the questline CHANGED.... so..

Keep a keen eye people there is more than meets the eye in Skyrim...

oh and happy rimming

Has anyone found a copy of ABCs for Barbarians yet?

ABC'c for barbarians was offensive the nords lol.

Haggards tale? I think it was called. Guy was so badass in the things he could do in heavy armor

The origin of sheogorath

And another book about sheo as well, can't recall its name.

And the lusty argonion maid latest version in skyrim

i loved "immortal blood" story and "of Fjori and Holgeir", the last mainly cause its very well placed inside the dungeon story.

Well, I was exploring the coastline near Dawnstar and I saw a part of the beach on fire.

So, I'm like.... "What the hell? Not even a single dragon anywhere.."

I go over there and see this burned out corpse, begin to wonder what happened, and see a book with a Destruction symbol on it a few feet north of the poor soul....

The book's name was :


Damn that was cool.

Yes, I like to read some of the books too. Like Immortal Blood (about the vampire hunter asking for info about different kinds of vampires throughout Tamriel to a proest. Great ending, and has somewhat of a continuation in a sidequest of Skyrim. ^^), The black Tragedy (see above) and The Wolf Queen (about Potema and her political tactics to get the throne. She's quite smart, that one. And evuuulll.). There's also a kid's book, " and the dragon" or something. It's one of those books in which you can choose your own path in the story.

I would love to see a completed ABCs for Barbarians.

I had the books titled infront of me, when I wrote this so the above name is exact

bell's on his knee's, walking on his hands... and as for his missus! holy hell how'd he do that... mental imagery is impossible I find =s

"Olaf....", think i found that in dragons reach feast hall

I refuse to read wolf queen till i have all v1-6 i think i have (2,5,6) =/

You and me both, but perhaps that's the idea... sadly it was going somewhere in my opinion lol... or at least it could have (maybe an anonymous re-write)

I found a dead NPC who had been crushed by a tree that had fallen on his house and his name was "Lucky." Bethesda is great at using environments to tell stories.

Anyway, as far as the books. I read one book, I think "The Red Kitchen Reader" that was about a young boy who accidently stumbled into a secret room beneath and abandonned house in Cheydinhal and found a wonderful meal in this red kitchen. He lamented that he was never able to find that room again. For anyone that played Oblivion, you know just how close to death he was.

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