how would i setup this

i would imagine myself controlling people from the shadows and only showing myself for the final move

tried something with conjuration but summons reveal yourself so thats a no go
so maybe illusion just messing with their minds etc , and then sneak/dagger

but then dragons how am i gonna fight them?
or can i somehow make myself not visible if i heave my summons up?

you can have silent summon perk under the alteration tree

Illusion/Conjuration/Sneak.

Yeah, your "puppetmaster" class concept is how I loved to play Oblivion and in Skyrim! Great name btw, wish I had thought of it.

Illusion. Use Illusion. Sneak (for Skyrim, not really necessary for Oblivion) and Conjuration. You have to keep your conjured mob above the level of the mobs your are fighting. Once you get Invisibility, you summon mob, then go invisible.

A decent sneak skill + muffle means that the enemy mobs MAY see you, but will turn it's attention to your summoned mob pretty quickly. If you aren't really fighting it, it will concentrate one what IS hitting it, your summoned mob.

Most of the time, I use rage/frenzy to make them kill each other first, then use conjuration on the last one.