Ok I am trying to marry Lydia but when I go to the ceremony it doesnt commence. I have twice tried, and no dice. Also I cannot get her to follow me after I jilted her. I told her I dont love her anymore and now she just sits in my house eating all my damn food

Sounds like its time to find a new city to settle down in and find some strange.

I had to wait forever one time trying to marry Jordis, almost a full day. People showed up at midnight and we all just stood around, wound up "waiting" an hour at a time. Game saves (for me) after a "wait", so when Jordis said, "How could you!?" I just reloaded the previous hour and the ceremony began. Darned good wife, by the way.

well i have told her i dont love her anymore and she does not show the follow menu option anymore just hangs out in my crib

I was going to try the jilt option, but even though I would just reload, I couldn't do it...it's heartless.

When I married Lydia I waited outside the temple, hoping to see her arrive. When it suddenly said, at midnight, "Attend your wedding", I walked in and there she was. In fact it was *before*midnight, the day before the wedding was due. She was that keen.