Then let me ask you, do you support his demand that everyone must fight to the death?
If you do, then why not support the idea that Ulfric should have put his money where his mouth was and fought to the death when his chance came?
If not, then you are admitting he is wrong by asking his people to fight to the death regaurdless of the situation.
Obviously he
doesn't ask his people to fight to the death regardless of the situation, otherwise he and his guard would all have been killed in the Imperial ambush that resulted in them being taken to Helgen as captives.
"Victory or death" is a thing that gets said and has been said throughout history to motivate soldiers by emphasizing that the cause they are fighting for is also worth dying for, and that even though the odds are stacked against them they are going to keep fighting for it. I believe there is even something in Sun Tzu's Art of War about putting your men on "killing ground" and they will fight all the harder to win because they believe they have no other choice - "killing ground" in this case being a situation where retreat is impossible and the only way to go is forward, over and through the enemy. In recent history the D-Day invasion of Normandy in WWII would be a fair example of this.
It's a rallying cry, a slogan, and an effective one in many cases, especially when the success of the overall strategy requires that you put your soldiers on "killing ground" where victory or death will most likely be the only two options that they will have. It's not a military strategy in its own right that is useful or effective in every situation.
In the reality of combat, a good leader has to be far more pragmatic, otherwise he is not very effective. It is not effective to throw men to their deaths when their deaths will do nothing to advance the cause overall. An individual soldier - and particularly one from a warrior culture like that of the Nords - might be willing to throw himself to his own death for honor, or glory, whatever, regardless of the "big picture" - but for a leader trying to achieve a larger goal that individual's glorious and honorable death is to be avoided if it serves no other purpose.
When Ulfric's small party was ambushed, they were greatly outnumbered according to Ralof. At some point Ulfric made the decision that it was a losing battle, that his capture and/or death was inevitable under the circumstances, and told his men to stand down. Letting them fight to the death wouldn't have changed anything, unless he used it as a cover for his own escape, which he obviously did not do. He did not desert them and let them fight and die while he ran for safety, nor did he require them to die in a hopeless effort to save him from being captured or killed when he came to the conclusion that it was indeed hopeless at that moment. As long as they are still alive, there is the small hope of rescue or escape in the future, neither of which is possible if they all die right then and there.
"Victory or death" implies that "victory" is still a possibility, and that you will fight to the death in order to achieve it. When it becomes obvious that victory in a particular engagement is no longer possible, a good leader doesn't throw even more soldiers into the gaping maw of defeat. He preserves what life he can in the hopes that an opportunity to reverse their current situation will present itself.