So I killed some one - who cares it was a accidental firing of two fire balls that may have slaughtered some one. How ever I cant return because eveyone will attack me, how ever the quest sais to speak to "tof......" to get the suspension lifted.

How do I go back with out dying?

Calm spell? Or you could just wait a few days then return.

Getting arrested in the hold you're having an issue in usually fixes aggressive problems like that, but not always.

Everyone who plays Skyrim should go to the winterhold jail at least once anyway.