This has probably already been addressed, but...
I am curious as to the other people that you choose to live with you (ie spouse, housecarl, pets, children, steward, etc). Can they be killed (or disappear indefinitely) from bandits, kidnappers, giants, etc that attack your home? Are the homes in the cities safer?

I want to make sure before I build a family home in the wild only to have everyone dead or missing.

Thanks!

Chances are the attacks won't happen while you're gone. Events only trigger in your presence.

You can have a housecarl and a steward?

I had an random imperial courier bail from my bedroom to my door like he stole something

I've come home several times to Draugr corpses in my yard that I didn't kill. I figured my wife, steward, or housecarl killed them. I also armed my children, so maybe they took care of them.

i had miaq the liar walk outside my house,i offerd him to stay but as soon as he saw the endless amount of cat heads and fur pelts on the wall he politly declined......for shame