has anyone fully completed every side/mic quest and MQ ? gotten all the weapons and armor and unique items? if so how many total side quests are there?

http://elderscrolls.wikia.com/wiki/Quests_(Dragonborn) might be helpful.

I don't know if that's all of them, but it looks like a comprehensive list.

http://www.uesp.net/wiki/Dragonborn:Dragonborn

someone needs to update ... guess ill get on it

If Rosveen's list is accurate, I've completed everything but two of those quests. The list itself seems nearly accurate because the only thing it doesn't list is the Misc quest involving the Resonance Gems. Trust me when I say doing so was no easy feat. I literally did nothing yesterday from 5 AM CST to midnight but play this DLC, with only a two and half hour break for a nap.

I didn't link UESP because TESWiki is usually faster when a new DLC comes out: they had a full video walkthrough of Dawnguard the day it was released, so it's possible that they had a beta tester of Dragonborn too.

Everybody's playing, no one has time to update the wikis

Definitely not a full list, yet. At least one is missing (Deathbrand).

this is true....back to solsthiem!