Here's the issue

I constructed my house, moved my spouse in and was ready to adopt children. After waiting (for a LONG time) the courier would not deliver me a message talking about adoption. I realized that the old hag, Grelod the Kind, was still alive. My guess was that that was the reason I wasn't able to adopt. So I went to the orphanage, followed her out to the little enclosed area on the side of the orphanage, beheaded her, and gleefully shouted "FINALLY, bring on those adoption papers!" I went inside and naturally, the children were happy, but Constance was in a constant state of flee. She will not talk to me at all. She just keeps screaming "GET AWAY" and running to the opposite end of the room. I tried hitting her with calm, rally, fear, and frenzy spells/scrolls, hoping to somehow get her out of that state. Nothing worked. Grabbing at straws, I thought, "maybe I should try killing Grelod a different way."

I tried:

Hitting her in the back of the head while she was sitting down in her room (while crouching)

Hitting her while she slept in her bed, again while crouching

Hitting her anytime I caught her out of bed while both Constance and/or the kids were in bed

Pegging her with arrows from various points in the room and at various times of day

Using the wabbajack, which just kills her

Htting her out in the open, (actually that was more out of frustration)

Using both Ice Form and Paralyze on Constance then racing to her room and killing her, then using the first 2 methods I mentioned above (grabbing at straws)

Going outside, committing a petty crime, luring a guard into the building, convincing him to look the other way, then discreetly frenzying her into attacking the guard.

ALL of these end with the same result, Constance being in a constant state of fear, prohibiting me from talking to her.

My sanity is being tested. Has anyone else either had this issue or has advice?

She behaves like that when ever you kill the old lady, nothing new, just go away and leave the poor girl alone. You will have to wait to adopt now.

Go talk to Aventus and complete Innocence Lost, and you should be able to adopt.

I afraid I can't do that aussie500. I'm gonna have to get a Dragon to attack the city...........

Well you kill her you will get no orphans to adopt. Maybe you will just have to have an encounter with the Dark Brotherhood for that bit of mischief, stealing a contract is serious business. A nap for your character could have results, been ages since my first character did that, and my second is not planning on knocking off any little old ladies if she can get out of it.

I had the same issue with Tiberius, and finally had to settle it by talking to Aventus. It calmed her down, but it started the DB questline.

I am assuming, incidentally, that you cannot adopt a child without starting the DB questline, since Constance will not calm down otherwise, and Grelod won't allow you to adopt as long as she's alive. Or is there an alternate way to convince/remove Grelod?

This is another roleplay-breaking issue where you are forced to deviate from your character's modus operandi in order to simply progress the game, or in this case, access the basic features of a DLC.

Would my Paladin of Stendarr love to rescue little urchins from the streets of Skyrim's more nefarious neighborhoods to raise as his own brood? Absolutely. Would he entertain the morbid fantasies of some devious little schemer, engaging in a black sacrement and murdering an old woman in the process? Certainly not.

This is a true shame, especially for a franchise so heavily tied to role-playing. As for the fact that it is required to access DLC content, doubly shameful.

Please remedy this, gamesas.

You can adopt some orphans found in other places. I could have adopted Blaise, but did not have a house yet. He is at Katla's Farm near Solitude. Even though I owned the big house in Solitude, it was not good enough to have a child live in. There are 3 others you can adopt that are not in the orphanage. They are in Whiterun, Dawnstar, and Windhelm. I also heard that if the NPC parents of a child dies, (can't murder them), you can adopt their child.

My second character happily went and adopted else where, since she still does not like the idea of knocking off little old ladies. She adopted the little flower seller from Windhelm. And later when Braggen stops demanding all my time , will find another orphan to adopt. The orphans of NPC's who die during your game, will end up at the orphanage when you start Hearthfire, so not much use if you cannot adopt from there.



You could have got the children's room added to the house in Solitude if you were in a hurry to adopt.

That's good enough, I suppose. Though I still think there should've been another way to solve the Arentino sidequest.

I guess I could just order Lydia to kill the old bag.

You get no bounty for killing Grelod, and still Constance will run around like an idiot and not let you adopt, so getting Lydia to do the dirty work is not going to help. Would have been nice if they had put another way in there to force Grelod to allow the orphans to be adopted, but then that would have broken the Dark Brotherhood questline.

Thoroughly annoyed with this.

Have you met Grelod? Trust me, you'd be doing future orphans a favor by killing her.

As for the inability to adopt, allow me to introduce everyone to Sofie in Windhelm. Both of her parents are dead and she sells flowers to earn enough gold to stay alive. I found her sleeping on the pavement outside of Niranye's house in the middle of a snowstorm. Adopting her doesn't have anything to do with the orphanage in Riften, and honestly, she's got a greater need for it than any other NPC child.

Not in the same situation but I solved similar problem in other quest by using voice of the emperor to calm down a fleeing NPC that would'nt that. If you are not an imperial, illusion spell should do the trick. Don't know if you will get the intended result, but it's worth at try no?

Sofie isn't the only one. I adopted Lucia in Whiterun, which startled me because in all my playing, I've never seen her before.

If you don't wish to start the DB quest, don't kill Grelod! Instead, head to the cities and walk around. It's astounding how many orphans were thrown into the game with this DLC, and now makes you feel guilty when you see one you can't adopt due to the 2 max limit.

As mentioned above, the old hag's death always causes Constance great distress. Just wait a bit, she'll calm down. Also you didnt need to commit any crimes, nor lure any guards. I frenzied Grelod.... And the kids killed her.

Braggen is an imperial, voice of the emperor does not work on Constance in that situation, he tried it back when he first killed Grelod as part of the main game, along with every other calm spell he had. There is no way out of that situation but to start the DB questline, and go see Aventus. Once your character kills the old lady, all the children will start talking about Aventus to give the player the clue of where to go next. The only way to adopt is to either kill the old lady, or adopt one of the new children added to the game who are not in the orphanage.

Now Braggen is an amoral sod who has certainly done some terrible things, he killed Grelod long before hearthfire came out, he finished the Dark Brotherhood questline ages ago. My second character Aussie wants nothing to do with the Dark Brotherhood or assassinating little old ladies who have really done nothing wrong. Grelod feeds and keeps a roof over their heads, being a bitter old lady with a bit of a mean streak does not make her evil, or mean she deserves to die. There are plenty of other orphans in Skyrim, she can keep hers if she wants them that much.


And could you adopt without seeing Aventus? Mind you Aussie would object to having the children kill her anyway but still it would be nice to know. A fourth character will be trying this later and might have a different view on things. Aussie in a moment of fancy killed Grelod while she was in werewolf form, Constance still behaved the same way so that never ended up happening.

Nah, I dont actually have Hearthfire yet, since I'm on PC. Figured I'd reply to OP since Constance runs around like a headless chicken in vanilla and in Dawnguard, once you kill Grelod, no matter how you do it. When I come back later, she always seems calm though.