...Divines, I hope this is the right part of the forum. I looked around, and couldn't quite tell...
I know that a very similar issue has been reported, with players having a "5/5 People Helped" in their journals but no ability to complete the quest. This is not that.
I entered Solitude a rather long time ago, and there helped a number of people (about the five expected, if not more) before getting the first quest to find and kill the Wolf Queen. Afterwards, I turned in the Jarl's husband's horn to the shrine of Talos, and came back, and bought the house, using up most of my money in the process I might add.
I have, in short, done every step of the quest necessary to become a Thane of Haafingar, but the dialogue option has never appeared when in conversation with the Queen. (Apparently, it is a fourth dialogue option reading, "My Jarl, is there anything else you need?")
I have tried many remedies to the situation, from completing the entire Bard's College quest on one friend's recommendation to trying various console commands to "cheat" the game into putting me into an earlier stage of the quest, up to and including a full reset of the entire quest chain.
In short, I'm lost. Help! Is there some simple thing I'm not doing?