Hi, so im forced to work with this person, but i really cant stand them. When we talk it seems everything I say is apparently offensive, so I resolved to avoid conversation, except now, my lack of conversing seems to be offending them!! I've even been confronted about it and was propsed to start fresh. But honestly, I've come to hate this person so much I dont think I can do it.

I've thought my best option is to go to our boss and talk about it, but Im not sure what can be done. I havnt actually told this person that I hate them, but I think its fairly obvious from my actions that I do. Does anyone have any advise to make work a little less stressful?

If our relationship is at its lowest maybe we should both know where the situation is coming from?

What do you mean working with him? Do you two work in close proximity in the workplace, or are you forced to work with him on some task?

It's hard to say without more information.... Does this person seem to have issues with everyone (or do you?), or does it just seem to be a conflict between the two of you? And when you say you "offend" them, is it a certain type of thing you say or do that offends them? Or do you mean that they generally have a negative reaction to anything you do or say?

who was the person who confronted you about it

Yeah, we work in close proximity doing the same thing (at a cafe).

It seems to be a conflict between just us two. Generally speaking, because I speak my opinion when asked about things, if she doesnt like something I say, she'll call me something profane (which obviously irks me). The thing is, she wants to be my friend (we were friends before somehow), but I really dont want anything to do with her. Im the type to avoid someone completely and utterly if im upset with them, so it started with me ignoring her whenever she would be rude or mean to me. She would ussually appoligize and things would go back to normal, but its happened more frequently lately and im just completely sick of dealing with her...

She was the one to confront me, but nothing became of it, I didnt tell her really why I dont like her, and I think the situation became worse.

To be honest, I have zero job experience, but my advice would be to request a shift change or politely inform your manager about the issue and ask him/her if he/she can deal with it. I don't want to cause any harm, so i would wait for other people's response.

Hmm...Well since it sounds like there's more to this (being that you have a prior friendship), I don't know if there's much that your manager can do for you. It'd be a different story if there was a specific behavior that she did that interfered with your work, but if it's more of a personality clash or something that's come from a prior friendship, there aren't a lot of options for your boss.

Can you work different shifts than her so you don't have to be around her so much? If not, then I think it's something the two of you will have to work out yourselves. I've had a similar experience in the past where I became friends with a coworker but then discovered I didn't really like her, haha. She turned out to be a pretty different person outside of work, and it made it harder to work with her. I couldn't switch shifts, so I ended up toughing it out until she eventually left.

CYA.

1. Involve your immediate supervisor as much as possible about how you are uncomfortable working with this certain individual.
2. The word "harassment" is a powerful and multi-faceted tool with HR and makes labor mediators/lawyers drool venom. You're feeling harassed, correct?
3. Keep conversation work related only. Be polite, professional, civilized (both verbal and body language), and cut short any extraneous non-work related conversation, by politely explaining you don't feel comfortable speaking about "that topic with you". It's work, not a picnic with the in-laws. Assert your rights.

Of course I'm assuming your the right one in this situation, because you're "one of us"

I can take care of the problem... just depends on how much you're willing to pay.

since you use to be friends my best recommendation would be to be honest with her about how her behavior makes you feel

unless history has shown that she doesn't care about anyone else's feelings

Sounds like a pretty similar situation, I think i'll request shift changes and talk to the manager and hope for the best. If that doesnt achieve anything maybe I should just lay it all out and tell her why I really cant stand her, maybe it'll make me feel better enough to be able to work with her again?

I dont think I would call it harassemant, shes not intentially and w/o reason (to her) being mean to me.

Number 3 is what i've been trying to do by avoiding conversation with her, but it makes work stressful because of all the tension in the air

number 1 seems like a good idea. If im at the point of coming to a gaming forum for advise I think im at the point i should talk to the manager lol

She does care about other people, and when she confronted me, she was honest about it. So maybe its a good idea to do the same, but she would DEFINETLY not like what I have to say, which could make things worse

Thanks for the advise guys, Im feeling a lot less stressed out now that there are some actions I can take to remedy this.

just be sure to follow the rule of "I" when talking about how her actions make you feel

this website has it described rather nicely
http://www.drnadig.com/feelings.htm

Thanks, I'll try to word things very carefully if it comes to that.

1. Sleep with him
Or do Plan 2.

The best way to deal with a stressful situation is to do something about it. Nothing's worse than letting it drag on and weigh you down. Good luck!

hr

What kind of thing would you say that she gets offended about? How old are the two of you? I've got to say it all sounds a bit petty. Word of warning - if she's been getting offended by the things you say, if it comes down to which of you keeps your job it will be her.

My advice would be not to ignore her (that's extremely rude - however uncomfortable she's making you feel, imagine how much more so you are making her feel). Instead, converse about topics that are not important and unlikely to cause you to say something that upsets her. What is it she has been getting upset about? Is it when you've given your opinion on things? So she's not the type that enjoys a debate. Don't discuss controversial topics and keep your opinion buttoned down. That's quite common and will be the case with many people wherever you work.

With pretty much every job you ever have you will find there are people there that don't mach your personality. At work we sometimes have to be a chameleon and behave differently depending on who we talk to but without being rude (which ignoring most definitely is). You need to get used to dealing with it. Honestly I think speaking to your boss about it is a bad idea. It will reflect more poorly on you than her. Also, if one of you ends up losing your jobs over this will that make you feel good? You can't get along with everyone, but part of working with different people is that we have to be capable of doing our job professionally regardless.

Play this song next to her when you get the chance: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5DmYLrxR0Y8

Itd be a nice laugh

probably not for her

+1

Ignore them, it's simple and effective at removing people.

Unfortunately mate, whatever job you do you are likely to come across someone you just can't get along with. People are just different and sometimes personalities clash. All you can really do is try to act professionaly and get on with your job.

Put laxatives in his sammich.

That'll teach'em.

My uncle did this. Well, not laxatives. Someone at work kept stealing and eating his sammiches, so for a week he made them with canned dog food inside. On the friday he told everyone and his food was untouched from then on.