This was intended to be spoilerfree but I realized I have some plot spoilers for the main quest, dont read if you havent completed the main storyline.

Inspired by epic rap battles on youtube ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZIMoQHpvFQQ )

Disclaimer: I have no clue if this turned out good or not, English is not my native language so its abit hard to tell

Dragonborn:

My Thuum is supreme, I shout and I scream. My skills are sublime, try to dodge my magic beam.
I got 99 problems but my Thuum aint one, if you think youre the last dragon, then my work aint done.

Alduin:

Dragonborn, taking the world by storm. Guess again if you think killing us will be the norm.
I ressurect my brethren, one by one, and when you kill them - guess what - I aint done.
For each and every drake, which you send to their grave. I Make two others or more, slave by slave.

Dragonborn:

Alduin I laugh at your pathetic brute force, Im gonna kill you - at your source.
At sovngarde I will gather an army of slain, Old heroes which honor me as a powerful Thane!
Im Bringing the pain, it can all be the same, when the day is over my axe will be burried in your brain.

Alduin:

Im black, I have claws, I have shouts and I have fire. If it is death you desire, Ill use your "army's" corpses as your funeral pyre.
I remember you on your knees, about to die. I let you live because youre just a pathetic fly.
Absorbing my brethrens energy, because you have no power of your own. I laugh at you dorka-kin, Ill crush your every bone.

Dragonborn:

Then its on, I am strong! I got 100 alchemyyyy! Why does that matter? Soon youll get to see.
I killed your dragons, and your priests as well. Yawning with one hand, using the other to send them all to hell!
You wanna pick a fight with me? Killing you is my destiny!

And as soon as, hey wait, is that a cliffracer? Or do my eyes deceive me?
Oh crap, they are starting to bleed me... stop you crazy birds, the world needs me!
Thats my intestines in their beaks, I guess I wasnt the hero this world seeks.

Alduin:

Eaten by a bird, this is getting absurd. I guess the Dorka-kin was just a useless turd.
Time to stop wasting time, and conquer the world. But wait a damn minute, is that also a bird?

Cliffracer:

I killed heroes in Morrowind while you were still chilling in time. Doesent need an elderscroll to bring me back to my prime.
Two quick pecks and your eyes is gone, it took less time to kill you then shi77ing on Ulfrics lawn.

Im the true power in any elderscroll game, not out for power and nor for fame. When I peck out people's eyes it can all be the same.
With nothing to lose and everything to gain, you cant point your finger at me starting to blame.

This is my world and I rule it from the skies, in my omni-presence ALL LIFE DIES!