So im wondering where u find the books to teach you these spells. I would think you would get them in winterhold but ive not seen them anyone know?

The Winterhold College merchants sell them (Faralda,Tolfdir, etc.), but they didn't carry them in their stock until my Destruction skill was over 75. Maybe even well over 75.

In one of the first MQ quests you will be introduced ton an enchanter which has a helluva lot spell books for sale.