I am getting no sound hwatsoever. Not in the main menu, not in the game, nowehre. I have run the dxsetup inside of _commonredist, to no avail. I have tried reinstalling all audio drivers, and there is still no sound. All files are succesfully validated by steam.

Post a dxdiag report, please.

Use the Search box or Run... box, type cmd

In the command prompt, type:

dxdiag /t dxdiag.txt

Now go to the %userprofile% directory (C:\User\), find the dxdiag.txt. Open the file. Select All. Copy and Paste its contents here in a reply. Use the spoiler tags, by either using the following:

[spoiler] dxdiag text [/spoiler]

or by clicking the icon (Special BBCode) next to Font menu, and selecting 'spoiler'.