What will be the first thing you say when you logg in for the first time?

nothing, ill sprint run out of the city to wilderness and This Khajiit will go all feral commando mode

"Oh please, is that supposed to be an [insert first thing I see here]"

What will I say in real life or what will I say in-game?

In real life it'll most likely be: "Wife, come check how cool this is." Or something like that.
In-game can't really say. Not much of a pvssyr in MMO's. Might take a good while before I type anything in-game.